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Lost the other half of my heart

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by lulup, Jun 16, 2018.

  1. lulup

    lulup Member

    Hi this is my first time here, I lost my husband of 39 years almost 2 months ago. He had been ill the past few years, but we spent the last 7 months out of town in ICU. I found him unresponsive in our driveway and performed cpr on him. We were at our local hospital at first but they could not din a reason why he kept going into cardiac and respiratory arrest. We were transferred out of town where I had to watch him fight the fight of his life. I wanted to take him home on hospice but he did not want to give up. We had 7 extra months together that we should not have had. To make matters worse I had a mild stroke and had been in the hospital the week before he coded. I was only home from the hospital for 2 days. I will be 62 in July and now find myself having to sell our home because of finances. We had been looking for a smaller home for the past 2 years as our home is 4000 sq feet and we could not take care of it. I found out yesterday that his teachers pension stopped when he died and I can not collect his SSI because I am on long term disability. I am barely able to function I miss him so much. I have 2 grown sons who help me but there are suffering there own grief. I hate to wake up in the morning as I am unable to face another day without him
     
  2. Gerald

    Gerald Member

    Hi, me again Gerald. I replied to your reply on my page(not sure how this all works yet and I'm not super tech savy). Anyway I read your page and wow we have a lot in common. My wife was a teacher too before she quit to be her fathers full-time caregiver. He passed several years ago. She also had various health problems for the last few years but these last 6-7 months have been intense; in and out of hospitals, ICU's and rehabs and me caring for her when she was home. Also she did get transferred to an out of town hospital the last 2 months of her life cause our hospital said there was nothing more they could do and the hospital in Omaha was better. But it was stressful cause I still had to work and could only go up on the weekends. We had a home health aid 4 hours a day whenever she was at home so I had to go to part-time to be with her the rest of the day. You said you had to be hospitalized while he was hospitalized. While that didn't happen to me, I did collapse at work from exhaustion, stress, not eating. Post anytime if you need to talk. Good luck!
     
  3. lulup

    lulup Member

    I am so sorry for your loss. I am not tech savy either I have no idea how anything works. Thank You for responding to my post it helps to know we are not alone.
     
  4. Gerald

    Gerald Member

    Hi thanks for your replies. So it's Father's Day: the first " holiday" since her passing. How are you dealing with it? I was told by my councilor first holidays and anniversaries would be tough but every "first" is tough; first time I used the stove, wore certain clothes, went grocery shopping without her etc... I'm acutely aware of everytime I do anything without her for the first time. And I'm always thinking like: what would we be doing today if she were here? Sorry I'm just blabbing. Oh as far as Father's Day : we had no kids but she would always. get me cards from our pets and I'd do the same for her on Mothers Day cause her pets were her babies and we'd celebrate those days. Again just blabbing. Have so much on my mind and no one to talk to here at home. Hope you Lulup and anyone else reading this has a good day
     
  5. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Gerald, thank you for sharing your thoughts and support here. Those firsts are very hard, and I think a lot of people can relate to wondering, what would my day be like if my loved one was still here? It's hard not to think about that, to be always acutely aware of the differences, of the life before loss and than this life that has come after. I'm glad you have found us and that you came here to share on a day that was feeling extra hard... that's exactly what we're here for. I hope today is a better day and I wish you strength in your healing and in the days ahead. Please take care~