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Lost my wife to cancer.

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by JohnFS, Jun 8, 2019.

  1. JohnFS

    JohnFS Well-Known Member

    Hey Dave, that was truly wonderful music; a true artist is amazing to watch them at their craft. Please post on here the name to your new thread when possible; I think it is a great idea. I could use some of it now, last Monday I lost a sister to lung disease “pulmonary fibrosis”. I didn’t my heart could break anymore right now but I was wrong. She was so close to getting on the lung transplant list but she was just too tired from fighting and finally succumbed to the disease. Her name is Patricia, we called her Patty. She was a very loving and caring person, she was a nurse working for hospice. From 10 siblings there are 4 of us left. We played Greensleeves at her service it was one of her all time favorites.
     
  2. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    JohnFS this is the thread I created and just finished a new post for today. I post anywhere from 3 to 5 am EST.

    https://www.griefincommon.com/threads/the-good-in-our-world.1324/#post-7765

    Though my musical tastes encompass many genre over the course of my life, I have now taken a keen interest in the violin music. Nadine my wife was clearly a Country and Western fan.
     
  3. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    John this post is especially for you. I am so very sorry you lost your sister. I hope this music helps in some small way - family members are special - irreplaceable in our heart.

    A Poem for You

    To My Sister…
    By Allison Chambers Coxsey

    I’m blessed to call you sister,

    I also call you friend;

    You’ve loved me unconditionally,

    And stood through thick and thin.

    You’ve shared my joys and sorrows,

    My laughter and my tears.

    You’ve been my inspiration,

    As we grew up through the years.

    When we were little children

    We laughed and played together;

    Then growing up you stood by me,

    Through good and stormy weather.

    There’s something God has given us,

    That’s more than family;

    He’s placed a love for you, my Sister,

    Deep down in the heart of me.




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  4. JohnFS

    JohnFS Well-Known Member

    Thank you so very much for your kindness and caring. The poem “To My Sister” is truly what’s in my heart for my sister and the music is awesome! You are certainly a blessing to us all with your uplifting posts. I know with Gods help and the caring support of others I will make it through. My sister passing so soon after my wife has brought me to a place in my life so far away from the man I was just only months ago. I still have my faith in God, though it has been tested but I know the truth of things now with the Holy Spirit guiding my path, I just have to listen with my “broken” heart and not my emotions as I was. I am truly sad and will be for quite sometime, but I am alive and God still has a plan for me; I just hope that being half a man than I was is enough.
     
  5. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    John, I wanted to let you know I understand. Throughout my life as I experienced those I loved so much passing on my faith in God was tested, and as I married and also shared with my wife as she lost those she loved so much we felt the pain together. When she became sick and then went to God it hurt so much.

    My life with death and how it affected me the most started with my grandfather. When I was 10, I was at their house for the summer and he had a heart attack. I was alone with him and he asked me to get his rifle and shoot him. I panicked since there was no 911 in that day, ran out of the house looking at all the houses and yelled and ran to 3 or 4 before an adult answered and came to help.

    Upon his death he willed me that very same rifle. I couldn't handle it and gave it to his only son who was a hunter. From that day forward I looked at guns differently, and death so profoundly. Even though I spend 12 plus years in the military and two tours in Vietnam I carried a rifle each and every day, but I knew what that weapon meant and why I needed it at that point in my life.

    To this day I won't ever again hold or possess a gun of any type unless I must to protect others, not myself, and I will experience those losses of the ones I loved so much more strongly now. You could say I am changed, I see life through a different eye now. I understand that as life marches on, we will all experience awful things in life and how we deal with them and go on will what we eventually become.
     
  6. JohnFS

    JohnFS Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your service and sacrifice for our country.
    Yes our experiences through life, some forced upon us and some by our choices are what make us the person we are today. Tomorrow is a new experience that may broaden my view or maybe not, but I will meet it with the expectation that it will be an easier day than yesterday. This is truly my hope for us all is to have an easier tomorrow that will eventually be a better one.
     
  7. Dave33085

    Dave33085 Well-Known Member

    Well said John. David, I too want to thank you for your service to this great country. I think if your grandfather had realized the impact his request to you was going to have on you he wouldn't have asked it. But at that moment he was probably in such a state of pain and fear he didn't realize what he was saying. As John said, if we keep expecting tomorrow to be better, eventually it will be. Keep those thoughts positive my friend. This grief pit is deep but we have to constantly keep trying to climb out of it and not let it consume us. Our time here on earth is short compared to what God has for us. I'm going to try to make it the best that I can.