Lost my wife to cancer.

Well folks after losing my wife to lung cancer, she smoked for 30 years and had stopped 8 years ago, but still it caused lung cancer.
I also smoked for around 30 years and stopped four years ago, I’ve decided to get my lungs checked out. I may be borrowing trouble but if something is there, I hope to get ahead of it. So here I sit in a pulmonologist office about to get the results from a breathing test and a CT scan of my chest. I ask those of you to please put a prayer in for nothing major or life threats to show up. Thanks

 

I will definitely pray for you. Keep strong and Never Give Up.

 

WoodMan, my husband died of esophageal cancer on 10-22-18, a year & 2 weeks after diagnosis. My local Hospice provides spousal loss support group, I started attending group 2 weeks after Dave died. I have found that it is a life saver and they offer it free of charge to anyone who used hospice during their love ones illness. It really helps to have a connection to people who are on the same journey that we are. Some in our group have started a supper club, we get together outside of group for meals and other events. During these outings we do not discuss loss but our lives in general. It is really nice to interact with people who get it and are always there for you with a hug when you need it. I hope you can find a group in your area.

 

John,
I hope you got good news. This new life sends us on journeys we never expect. I will continue to send positive thoughts your way.

 

I'm praying for you John. Hoping for good news

 

The results are not great but no signs of cancer. There is some small scarring in left bottom lobe from smoking he wants me to see another doctor about mild emphysema and a small place on the lymph node in the middle of my chest, he wants to do a PET 0n it and possible biopsy. Not life threatening but definitely a couple of small places of concern. I will do what needs to be done. I assume a PET is a more enhanced scan but I would prefer to do the biopsy, I don’t want any guessing.

 

John, good to hear that the news wasn't any worse than it is. Sounds like it's fixable. A PET CT is a more enhanced scan that can show how an organ is working. My wife had many of them. Sounds like they want to do the PET scan and if they don't get what they need to see, then they will do the biopsy. Hopefully they can pin point the problem and get it taken care of. I've got you in my prayers.

 

Thank you for you prayers and positive thoughts, keep them coming until the biopsy.

 

Thank you for your prayers; it means a lot to me. Yes I googled the PET CT when I got home earlier and you are right. I hope the PET shows that it is fixable. Holding her hand at the end watching my wife die is a moment I would not wish on anybody. I was a changed man from that moment on, not only from the tremendous heartbreak but from being helpless against cancer, there was nothing I could do but be with her with my love for her. I was helpless against cancer with her so I made the decision there is something I can do about me by getting myself checked.

 

Good for you for getting checked. I too was the there holding my wife's hand in our living room as she took her last breath. It's a tough thing to go through but I think about what she went through and the scale tips. She didn't want to die, she had so much to live for. But in the end, God has the final say. I've come to accept that. So many questions for him if I get there. I'll keep praying for you

 

I understand about the scale tipping. This is a hard acceptance. In the end I will be with her again and I will love her as much or more than I do now. It’s just the heartbreak of living without her now. Every morning that hard acceptance is a hard reality. In a way I am grateful that it is myself that is going through the grieving than her doing it for my death. I would always want to endure the pain during our marriage so that she would not have to suffer it. She suffered enough pain and abuse in her childhood that I would take it in a heartbeat so she would not have to suffer from it. She was one of the strongest woman I have ever know but I would still be willing to take the pain instead of her suffering it. That is my love for her. Live now is so different, I pray to my savior every day for the strength and the peace make it through this heartbreak and to help me understand this new life I’m in.

 

Thank you Dave! You have been a comfort to my heart. May the Lord bless you in this hard journey, know that you have another Christian putting prayers in for you too.
Dave is a good name, my brothers name was David Wayne he passed from complication of some chemical he got in to while on patrol for the USMC. He was a good God loving man.

 

Our lives sounds so much alike. We met the love of our life, got married, started a family and then it's all gone. Although our children are starting their own families, a piece is missing. A piece that can never fill the space that she filled. She was amazingly strong through her battle, from start to finish. She gave us all inspiration. The thing I keep telling myself is that I know she wouldn't want me stuck here in the mud of life. This is my life. Not the way either one of us wanted our lives to go but it is what it is. It's so hard to move forward without her but I know I have to. No one can replace her or fill the void she left. But every day I try to find a reason to be happy. She would have wanted me to be happy. There is a saying that I heard on NCIS (her favorite show to watch while she was getting her 6 1/2 hours of chemo every other week. It goes "Death leaves a heartache nothing can heal, Love leaves memories nothing can steal." Duckie (the medical examiner on that show) said that on one of the shows and it just stuck in my head. I liked it so much that I had it tattooed on my arm above a memorial tattoo I got for my wife. I thank God for all the memories I got from the years with my wife. As much as it still hurts, I'm still trying every day to make my life as happy as I can. My wife would want me to be happy.

 

As long as we remember that our lives are not in our control, it's easier to handle these sad things that happen. God is in the driver's seat. We are just along for the ride

 

Hey John, hope you are having a good day today. I went to church yesterday and prayed for everyone who was grieving. I'm glad my words have helped you. I'm sorry to hear about your brother. I have 3 brothers and they have been a big help in my healing. Have a blessed day my friend. God is good.

 

John, I will continue to pray for you and hope that the pet scan will provide the answers they are seeking. I will also continue to send you positive thoughts your way. I know that facing health issues without your "one" is difficult.

 

Thank you for your prayers and positive thoughts Didee, I will take all I can get. It was three months ago today that I lost my beautiful wife and best friend Kellye, which makes it a hard day to get through anyway but today is also the day I just received news that my female Labrador Jessi has all the signs of lymphoma cancer from an ultrasound; we’ve not done a biopsy in fear of the extra stress this could cause going under the knife. I will do the best I can for her and give her mercy when it’s time. I don’t understand what the hell is happening! I do have a grief session this evening, hoping it well help.

 

John, I understand. Tonight I have to take my female Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever, Cassie, to the Animal Hospital; she is having back surgery tomorrow. I am at work now trying to cope on 3 hours of sleep and an unbelievable amount of stress. I hated having to make this decision without Dave. It is so hard to work through these big decisions alone after sharing everything with your one special person. I feel grief is a journey of trying to rebuild your life with a blindfold on, it is like you are groping in the dark most of the time. I hope you have a productive session. Try to have a good day.

 

I hope everything goes well for Cassie and her surgery is a success. It is hard not to have my other half here to discuss this with and we both make the decision.
I hope you can lower your stress levels, I know it is easier said than done but you need to take care of yourself during this also.
Didee you also try to have a good day.

 

Thank you John.