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Lost my wife and son in 2 months

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Gene Arnold, Jul 1, 2019.

  1. Gene Arnold

    Gene Arnold New Member

    I lost Scherri to an illness she battled for about 8 months. I was in total shock and disbelief, they told me at the hospital they could fix it. For a week I could barely get out of bed, I needed help with chores around the house but I was a mental mess. Not 1 family member offered any help in fact as time went on I was avoided like I had the plague. I spent the second half of June 2018 as a recluse trying to come to grips with what had happened. So then July 25th 2018 I get a call from the coroner my only son had overdosed on heroin. My wife and son were my whole world and now it was all shattered to pieces. I couldn't eat or sleep. I was reduced to a breathing blob. My next routine visit to family Dr. I tried to explain what had happened and totally broke down, tears flowing like a raging river. Dr. puts me on a PTSD med. I am so lost in life and all the holidays, birthdays, etc. are just triggers. Grief is the price we pay for love and Scherri and I had a very deep love. I am not even the same person I was a year ago everything that I enjoyed doing just doesn't seem the same. So please say a prayer for me and I will do the same for you for we are all in this together.
     
  2. CAS

    CAS Member

    I am so very sorry for your losses. I can't imagine losing a child. I lost my husband 22 months ago. He died suddenly right in front of me from sudden cardiac arrest. I take one day at a time, and try to stay busy. Maybe a grief support group may help also.
     
    Gene Arnold likes this.
  3. WoodMan

    WoodMan Active Member

    I can’t imagine losing your child and your spouse . My wife of 47 years died March 26. I didn’t know what sleep was for several weeks until the doctor gave me something to help. You will be in my prayers as we travel this road together.
     
    Gene Arnold likes this.
  4. CAS

    CAS Member

    I also wanted to say the first year was extremely hard. Just getting through one day. I was basically in shock and a fog and cried all the time. The second year which I'm in now is still very hard, cause reality hits and you realize this isn't a dream this is my life. The crying lessens just cause I think I've cried so much there's less in there. This site is great though. Alot of support.
     
    Julien and Gene Arnold like this.
  5. JohnFS

    JohnFS Well-Known Member

    I am so very sorry for your losses. its horrible losing a spouse but to lose a child also, I could not even imagine what you have and are suffering. My love and fellowship goes out to you very profoundly. I pray for the strength to keep it together and peace for your heart to heal. Love and Prayers for you brother.
     
  6. JohnFS

    JohnFS Well-Known Member

    I also wanted to touch on your family treating you like the plague. It is very unfortunate that they have not reached out to comfort and help you in your grief.
    I don't know your relatives maybe they just didn't know how to approach you with consolation or they are just heartless jerks; either way you have a family here that does understand and will help as we can. Just talking about it helps a lot. I would suggest to search for a grief support group or a psychologist that can actually help. You may have to search from one to another until you find one that fits.
     
    Julien likes this.
  7. Julien

    Julien Well-Known Member

    Hi,
    It's almost the one year anniversary that my husband has been gone. I am so sorry that your son has also passed.
    It has been life as usual for many in my midst but like you, it is kind of shocking that one of my sisters barely speaks much less tries to be of comfort. I have even wondered if something could be wrong with her. Maybe it is that these people really have NO clue what on earth it is to be in the spot we are in. I recall sending comfort cards to people in loss but had no clue it was like this.
    I too hope you can get some relief soon.