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Lost my therapist of 4 years

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Mariana, Jan 10, 2021.

  1. Mariana

    Mariana New Member

    Last June I got a text message from my therapist that said that we had to talk. I hadn´t seen her in a while (a few weeks) because our Covid cases were on the roof and I just didn´t have the privacy I needed to have therapy on line from my house. Anyway, she told me she was moving back to Spain. And I totally understand the reasons behind that decision but damn. One day you have a person you can always count on and the next she´s miles away living in a totally different time zone. She´s no longer a few blocks away, nor a phone call away for that matter. The person you opened your heart to, trusted with things you didn´t trust anyone else, told things you´d never said outloud before, gone.
    It hurts. So much. I miss her. I miss the couch, the cushions, the smell of lavender when I entered her office. I miss the pink and blue painting of the Eiffel Tower over her chair. I miss the stairs, the hall that led to that wooden door, the doot that would lead me to the place where I always felt safe, at peace, even if I was crying my eyes out.
    It´s been a little over 6 months now and I still burst into tears almost daily, I wake up with an anxiety attacks, I relapsed into self harm. I´m a wreck and the one person who could always help me get back on track is gone.