Hello all, Not sure how this works but here goes nothing! On November 17th,2020, I lost my beloved grandmother who was basically my 2nd mom and above all best friend. We were so close (me being the eldest granddaughter), we did everything together. Outings to go buy pointless things, sleepovers, gardening, cooking, etc. She was so loved by the whole family and she honestly took such good care of all of us that we’re so heartbroken. My grandmother was serious goals. I’ve always idolized her since childhood. She was 78, but acted like she was in her 50’s. She was active, well driven, smart, still drove a car, ran her own company and was still going to the office right before she died. On October 17th, she was admitted to the hospital because she was experiencing constant stomach pain. After weeks of tests and scans, they told us that she had stage 4 cancer. We were devastated! I would go home from the hospital every night and just have a breakdown that we might lose her in a couple of months. But then I would wake up in the morning to go spend the whole entire day with her and have to put a smile on my face. It was extremely hard to see the strongest woman I know have to be in that position. She was literally deteriorating before our eyes, each day, little by little until she left one day with all her loved ones surrounding her. All it took was a month. It was so quick that it still feels like a bad dream. I just can’t believe it. I can’t believe she’s actually gone. And the weird part is that I’m not even over the shock/denial phase because I’m not that sad, I just can’t believe it. I feel like time stopped and life isn’t moving forward. I feel empty. It’s the strangest feeling. Hope someone on here can relate. I’m the type that doesn’t really open up to friends and family so I thought I’d resort to this. Wish you all happy holidays despite the circumstances! Don’t dwell on what happened, talk about them, make their favorite holiday dish, spray their favorite perfume and pray for them! xoxo
Hello Dana, I am so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. She sounds like an amazing lady, full of love and the heart of your family. It is devastating to get such bad news and for the time you had left with her to fly by so fast. I am sure it feels like a blur. You are right, a bad dream. Except it is real. I lost my husband, the love of my life, on July 17th. He was being treated for lung cancer and had a severe side effect from one of his medicines that destroyed his lungs. He died at 59. I miss him every minute of every day, but, as you say here, try to live my life to honor him, talking about him, living my life the way we always did. A hard journey, especially at the holidays. I will say a prayer for you and your grandmother, and wish for your peace.
First and foremost, I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be hard to live without the love of your life especially with little things like sharing a bed, making a meal, date night, etc but I pray for you during the holidays! Sometimes medicine isn't the best answer. I believe that's what caused my grandmothers downfall too cause she was perfectly fine one day, and everything kept going downhill after the meds. But this is God's will and we can't change it. Prayers to you and your family during this time!
