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Lost my spouse ...partner...best friend of 21 years suddenly...and unexpected now I'm in disbelief..

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Lostwithoutyou777, Jun 11, 2021.

  1. Lostwithoutyou777

    Lostwithoutyou777 New Member

    I lost my spouse, partner, best friend suddenly on May 24 2021...I have been trying to come to grips and just getting out of bed in the morning is a struggle now. I don't know how I'm going to be able to go on we spent 24 7 together and were together 21 years...Her death was such a shock and unexpected and she had so much more life to live it seemed...now what ? How do you pick up the pieces and move on....???
    One minute the person you love and adore is there and the next GONE...and all their stuff is still there surrounding you and it's if they will be back any minute ...but somehow you have to realize NO they are never coming back...
    I have faith in God and believe I will see her and all my loved ones again someday but how can I get thru until.then...I am so sad and in shock and disbelief...i don't know what to do...its such a deep soul crushing pain...
  2. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. As I read your post I feel your deep pain. I also understand and know the devastation you’re feeling. As does everyone on this site. I also spent 24/7 with my husband. We ran a business together that I had to empty and close. He passed suddenly from a massive heart attack. He had never been sick, there was no warning. All the sudden my life was nothing it was before. I had never lived alone, we were together 44 years and married 41 yrs. like you mention we were each other’s everything, best friend, spouse and for me coworker. I know you’re feeling lonely and alone, probably not eating or sleeping. Take any help that is offered, sit and have coffee with a friend, let them know talking about your wife is helpful and important. Get outside each day and get fresh air. Make a list of things to do so they’re not all running crazy in your head. Add simple things so you have something to check off, brush your teeth, feed the dog along with things that are bigger and harder to do. Your loss is very resent, this is a long journey with lots of ups and downs. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to mourn. There’s a whole community of people on this site that know your pain and are going through the same feelings and it feels good to know you’re not alone. Visit this site often and read and share thoughts and stories, it does help. Your wife is with you, she’s a part of you and will always be in your heart. I agree that we will one day be reunited with our loved ones. I get signs or visits from my husband often, sometimes daily. Talk to your wife and be open to signs from her. Take care of yourself, you’re in my prayers.
    cjpines and Lostwithoutyou777 like this.
  3. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    I'm so very sorry for your loss. My husband passed away April 11, 2021. My heart feels like it's been torn in half. I need to get out of my house before it rains. I need to walk, get some fresh air. I just can't stand being in the house, it's just too painful for me, everything reminds me of my husband... I just want you to know, although it doesn't help, that I understand the pain... DEB321
    Lostwithoutyou777 likes this.
  4. Lostwithoutyou777

    Lostwithoutyou777 New Member

    Thank u for the words of support...it is all so devastating...I don't know how to go on right now...God Bless...
  5. I feel your pain. I lost my wife of 26 years on May 18,2021. I think we are on the same path. I know how you are feeling. It is helpful that I still have my kids around. They are 16 to 22 and I have 5 still living with me so that helps to keep me going. I feel sometimes I am moving just because I can't let them down. I know I have been going non- stop for the past 25 days. I just don't stop. The house is spotless, the dishes are always done the lawn is mowed and trimmed. It helped that family was around non- stop for about 2 weeks after but now I am slowly running out of things to keep me going and it is getting harder and harder looking around and not having her there. When I come home, I still believe that she might be sitting in her chair waiting on me. I too am still in disbelief. I am so afraid of stopping or having it truly sink in.

    I know it does help to keep talking about her and all the good things and good times. I printed over 400 pictures of her, me with her, her with the kids, the whole family. All the kids sat with me and we made memory boards. It was great talking about all the memories and the funny or even annoying things she did. I LOVED them all. Not sure if it would help you but it really does seem to help us to talk about her and not hide the pictures or her things. She was/is so much a part of my life that she will always be here with me.

    I am truly sorry that we are all on this difficult path and I hope you find peace. Don't listen to the people that say you need to move on or you will get through this. Keep loving her and all the things she did and how she made you feel and how she changed who you are. I think its OK to have those hard days. Time will not lesson the loss it just allows us to reshape the way we have her in our relationship. Its a time of change and that is never easy.