Lost my Soulmate before we had a chance at life

Hi all,
I lost my Fiancé very suddenly from an undiagnosed heart condition that he’d been trying to figure out for years. He died in his sleep while he was away for work. He was such a positive, kind, charismatic and energetic person with so much empathy for others.. he understood me like no one else could. We were very happy together. We were best friends and we talked a lot. He was only 37 and I was 32.. 33 now, it happened a little over a week before my birthday. We were going to start a family together. We supported each other through a lot of hard times.. and came out on the other end stronger. We were going to have a great big wedding after Covid ended. We were so excited for our future. The first time we were together, he told me he loved my “soul”.. I immediately knew he was the one. He knew I was the one too. We always laughed and joked together.
He died about 7 weeks ago and I feel like my life and love have been completely ripped away from me. I want to see him so bad, know where he is and just be with him. I just never would have imagined the phone call I got from the person who had to tell me “he’s gone”. There was no chance, no hope left. In my mind, I knew I finally found the one.. and I just feel so bad he never got to be able to live the life he should have. I just feel like I’m biding my time until I can be with him again. Because that’s all I want right now. This grief is so overwhelming, and I’m really depressed. I can’t believe life can be so awful and cruel.. it just makes me not want to be in it. I know the healthy coping mechanisms to go about this and I’m trying to apply them and all, but I just don’t want to be in a world without the love of my life in it. It feels like a chore to just keep carrying on.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss. I really felt your post. I lost my fiancee 9 months ago and tonight is a rough night for me so your post hit home when I read it. Grief can make you feel some awful things. Take deep breaths and get as much fresh air as possible. I'm hoping that you have family in your corner. Its important to have someone there for you. Our kids are my motivation. I pray that you get stronger with each passing day. I hear anytime you'd lie to talk .