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Lost my Soulmate 3 months ago

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by SheRiis, Sep 25, 2018.

  1. SheRiis

    SheRiis New Member

    I have been looking for ways to cope with the loss of my world, and someone suggested I join a support group. I will also be speaking to a therapist next Wednesday because my family is sure I will break and not be able to pull myself together if I don't get help. I don't know. Some days I feel like I don't even want to face a day without my Riis, and other days I realize that my son (33 years old) and my grandson (3 years old) still need me. I feel so lost and alone. We would have been married 32 years on Thanksgiving this year (together 36 years). Every day is a struggle. I cry several times a day and still find myself getting angry that he's not here. I pray that I find comfort in something soon.....thanks for listening...
     
  2. Trish Fivecoats

    Trish Fivecoats New Member

    SheRiis, I also lost the love of my life two months ago after a long battle with cancer.
    Larry and I were married for 46 years and I am truly lost and hollowed out.
    I have been to several grief counseling groups and I am finding that they help. But it’s so hard. Every day is a struggle and every day is painful.
    Some days I don’t want to get out of bed. And boy am I angry! At the world, everyone and everything. Do you have anything that you find that helps?
     
  3. SheRiis

    SheRiis New Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I have found nothing that really "helps". I have to try to make it moment by moment. I can't commit to having good "days" yet. I was going to try a therapist but she was a bust (unprofessional behavior before we even met). I talk to my family alot and cry a lot, but I don't think even time will make this better....
     
  4. Craig

    Craig New Member

    I read a quote that says that grief is the process of moving from losing what we had to having what we lost.

    It isn't easy, time alone doesn't heal, and grief of your loss never fully leaves you, but you can begin to learn to live along side it in a new reality that is built upon the shattered pieces of your former life. A life that internalizes and continues the relationship that you once shared externally with your loved one.
     
    Mary0128 and griefic like this.
  5. Carmela Rule

    Carmela Rule Member

    Hi SheRiis. So sorry for your loss I can relate to everything that you posted . As you my life came to a sudden stop Jan.8 2018 .. My husband of 30yrs .. I feel so lost without him Dec.12 2012 we lost our oldest son he was 35 yrs old his loss affected all our lives in one way or another life came to a sudden stop.. In the last year we seem to be getting a bit on track he was my rock to lean on And I his .. And now his gone .. Its been 8mons. But the last 2 weeks have become extremely hard .. Reliving our whole life together all the memories . I have been doing this everyday now . crying uncontrollably.. I realized couple a days ago that . I did the same thing after our passed reliving his life as what I could've done differently so that he could still be with us . I did this for almost 2yrs. And the only answer I had at the end was .. Not to of raised him to become an independent productive citizen to our society.. You need to allow yourself to cry & stay in bed all day if that's what you need to do withdraw if need be You are not losing it .. You are Greiving the loss of your husband & the loss of what has been your life all these years .. Huge change to come by and just like you I kept hearing your grandchildren need you ECT.. Well all that is true however I found myself not being the grandma that they knew .. So I finally had say .. I just need to grieve .. Without feeling like I was constantly being watched .. Its been 8mons for me & I'm still going through all the phases ..
    All I can say is you & only will know how you feel only time will heal your heart .. I searched for online support group . because you can't expect anybody to understand what you are going through if they haven't lived it themselves. With that being said .. Just know you not are not Losing it .. I hope my story helps you


    UOTE="SheRiis, post: 3321, member: 6205"]I have been looking for ways to cope with the loss of my world, and someone suggested I join a support group. I will also be speaking to a therapist next Wednesday because my family is sure I will break and not be able to pull myself together if I don't get help. I don't know. Some days I feel like I don't even want to face a day without my Riis, and other days I realize that my son (33 years old) and my grandson (3 years old) still need me. I feel so lost and alone. We would have been married 32 years on Thanksgiving this year (together 36 years). Every day is a struggle. I cry several times a day and still find myself getting angry that he's not here. I pray that I find comfort in something soon.....thanks for listening...[/QUOTE]