Lost my son

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by vickie disharoon, Aug 14, 2019.

  1. vickie disharoon

    vickie disharoon New Member

    I need help in coping with this. It's been 8 days since I lost my son. There is nothing I could do. He was an adult, but he was still my child. I prayed God take me instead and give him another chance to find happiness in life. Things keep going around in my mind, was he in pain, did he want to die, did he know how much I loved him? How do we cope? Today was a bad day, I had another break down, realizing the he is really gone. I will never see him, hug him, tell him I love him.
     
  2. Wayne B

    Wayne B Member

    Vikie..So sad that you lost your son. This is so new to you it's like you've been hit by a truck while walking... I think the loss of child would be the very worst grief a human can endure. I came close in 2012 - 2013 but thank God and modern cancer treatments my daughter is now cancer free. My point is: I lost my wife of 47 years to brain cancer. 8 mionths ago. The greif I feel is very different than when my daughter was so ill. Nothing you can do will change what "is" only how you accept what "is". for me at my age I know what my wife would want me to do and to live whats left of it as best I can. Your son would want you to live as best you can.. be sad when you need to . Cry when you need to but know what he'd want for the Mother he loved.
    I know this doesnt change anything but just think about how it would be if it were you and he was coping... ( I do know when my daughter was so ill maybe terminal) I prayed it would be me instead. It doesn't work. or even (what did I do in my life that God would punish me by taking my child?) strange thoughts but there.
    sorry to ramble... wish I could make it better. to me greiving is like painting something layer after layer after layer. at some point the color is different the days have passed but deep down the old life is there only in memory. You have those to cherish. Peace be with you.