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Lost my son to a senseless murder

Discussion in 'Loss of Loved One to Violence/Murder' started by Lori Scott, Dec 18, 2016.

  1. Lori Scott

    Lori Scott New Member

    I lost my son Jared on May 31/12 at 8:00 pm. He was walking his girlfriend home at 6 pm when someone called him up to a porch. Being the way he was, he was going to settle whatever it was this guy wanted. He had a bag of cheezies in his hand. This guy pulled out a knife and stabbed him, saying he would get worse if hurt his cousin again. Turns out to be "mistaken identity" as it was my younger son he was wanting. Jared died that day 2 hours later. They did find him after 5 hours and it took almost 3 years to finally get to court and sentencing. He ended up getting manslaughter and an 8 year sentence. Due to time served, he gets out in September 2017 already. The laws in Canada are more for the criminal and not the victim. I miss him every day and he had a son he never got to meet, he was born in November 2012. He looks just like him which is a blessing and hard at the same time.
     
  2. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Hi Lori - thank you for being here and for sharing your story. I'm so sorry for your loss and for all the ways you have suffered. I'm glad you have found our site and hope you can find some comfort here.
     
  3. Nonstopbunnie

    Nonstopbunnie New Member

    Sorry Lori I lost my son but he chose suicide I am sorry .nonstopbunnie
     
  4. LauRae

    LauRae Member

    Sorry to read about your son, Lori.
     
  5. Lucy489

    Lucy489 New Member

    Lori, I too have lost my son to violence. He was beaten with baseball bats and Jack handles. They cracked his skull x2. He was targeted by 4 people for something he didn't do. He was only 18 and my one and only child this is very fresh as it happened dec 6. Any advice would be great
     
  6. Lori Scott

    Lori Scott New Member

    Hi Lucy
    Sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I'm so sorry for your loss of your only child.
    I don't really have advice as everyone grieves differently. For me I was busy keeping my other kids "sane" through all of this so I had something to concentrate on. I also went back to work after 2 weeks as sitting at home really wasn't doing anything but letting me think. I knew I couldn't change the situation nor could I fix anything. I am in Canada and my son was murdered in another province. I have no rights to anything financially because I don't live in Ontario, so everything was out of pocket for me. I didn't care as he was my son and I would do it all over again (God Forbid). It took just 1 month shy of 3 years to get to court and he plead guilty to manslaughter instead of 2nd degree murder. Here that means a short sentence, no lifetime parole, and only stipulations are what the judge grants at sentencing. I am now in the process of writing my final impact statement as he gets released in September of this year. All I can do is hope that the parole board take some of my suggestions and put some boundaries on him for the amount of parole he does have left.
    All I can really say is make this into a positive. It sounds strange and it probably is, but I said it at his funeral and been working towards awareness and changes in our judicial system. The family has no rights here as they do in the US, we can't say "No Deal" if the prosecutor decides to change charges to a lesser charge.
    You'll never forget him, think of him with a smile and remember the happy times. There will come a time when the good does over ride the bad. I think of Jared everyday and he made me laugh when he was alive and continues to do so in death. I know he's with me and watching over his son.
    Hope this was some help
     
  7. Sista42

    Sista42 New Member

    Lori, sorry for your loss, I miss my only brother to murder Jan 12, 2006. He is just given me a surprise 40th bday party in Nov and the Jan he was gone. My life has since forever changed.
     
  8. LauRae

    LauRae Member

    I'm sorry, too, Lori. I lost my brother to a drunk driver when I was a teenager. The driver was prosecuted and had his license revoked. Never served any jail time. I personally have survived crimes that have gone officially unpunished. It just leaves such pain with which to deal when society or the courts can't do justice.
    I can empathize with this painful loss.
     
  9. Dear Lori,
    I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to lose your child. It seems like a very grave loss, and I am so sorry that you have to go through this.

    My husband was murdered about a month ago. We would have been married for 45 years on August 12. His death seems so stupid and senseless. Three people were involved in his death during a robbery. Fortunately, our laws are much tougher than Canadian laws, and I am hoping they all spend a great deal of time in jail. I'm glad for that, but there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that can make up for the loss of my husband. I feel like a huge part of my life has simply disappeared.

    No matter what kind of loss we deal with, it always seems to be the hardest thing that has ever happened to each of us. If it's ok with you, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
    Cynthia Louise
     
  10. Carol Fleming-Jones

    Carol Fleming-Jones New Member

     
  11. Carol Fleming-Jones

    Carol Fleming-Jones New Member

    My grandson was murdered December 29, 2017. His 19th birthday would have been the 30th. I realize that there is no comparison to the loss of a loved one, (all loss is hard) but this sudden and violent event of someone so young is particularly heart wrenching.
     
  12. Mona15

    Mona15 Member

    Carol, I'm sorry for the loss of your Grandson My Nephew was murdered too . He was shot while driving through East Cleveland on November 29th he passed away on December 1st 2014 He was only 31 and left behind 5 children I'm still trying to find a way to cope
     
  13. Jett Indio

    Jett Indio Member

    Mona, I'm sorry for the loss of your son. Our son was murdered four and a half weeks ago, in Portland, Oregon. We live in South California. Time stands still and every morning I wake up to this hell on Earth feeling.
     
  14. Sciguy

    Sciguy Well-Known Member

    I am sorry to hear of the loss of your son - especially in such a manner - and over a case of mistaken identity. I hope you will find this site helpful.
     
  15. Briansmom

    Briansmom New Member

    Hi Lori. I found your story to be somewhat like mine, & I am very sorry for your loss. I feel your pain. Only a parent can know what thats like. I much rather go through labor or have a toothache then to feel this pain. There is no medication that I know of that helps. Ive been drinking more lately but it only helps until the buzz goes away. My 28 year old son had mental problems which were controlled well on the right meds. But he ran out while living in Nevada, & all the voices came back & he lost his job & place to live. So I told him to come stay with me I would get him all the things he needs & he would be fed & warm & be someone who loved him. So he was doing great we were getting his stuff together. Id, ssi card, appt to get medical & an appt to get back on some meds. Well the first appt they said yes they think he needs help & gave him an appt for 1 month later! I couldnt believe it! I tried so hard to keep him on track so he could make that appt. In the meantime he even got a job down the st from my house making 14 an hour with lots of overtime at a glass tinting company. He lasted all but a week. When he got his 1st check. Then got high on meth & got a illuminati tattoo which cost like $200! He wasnt thinking straight. So he quit, & borrowed my friends car, drove to Ogden Utah he wanted to join the mormons. They didnt welcome him like he imagined, so he ended up dumping the car & staying down at a pond at a homeless camp. He was there for like a month. He used to call or message me whenever he could, but he stopped calling & finally after 4 weeks I called the cops & told them my son was homeless & i hadnt heard from him in a few weeks. They asked lots of questions & said they would have someone call me the next day. So my alarm went off at 630 am & the phone wrang at 645. Thats when my heart dropped & knew something had happened. So I called the number back & they had me proove i was mom, then said well were about to have an awkward conversation. We found your sons body at a homeless camp by a pond. It was a homicide. Thats all he could tell me. So i hyperventilated & hung up & called family. Later that day I got the news articles on my son & what happened. Its too long to type so if you are interested you can just type in his killers name,(Cori Fitzwater) / ogden utah / pond. It happened on Aug 16th 2018.
     
  16. Crowk

    Crowk New Member

    My Bryce was shot and murdered on new years day 2018 at our local park We are still searching for his killer He was only 17