Lost my mom in hospice now grief and panic attacks

Feel lost...inside out cry all the time...panic attacks for about 7 weeks...its difficult when night comes...

 

How does one find some peace and others

 

I lost my mom on July 28 after she had a stroke it in March and she was in rehab for a while but was unsuccessful then she went to long-term care in a nursing home on hospice I could not care for her at home because I have my own disabilities I miss my mom so very very much it’s very hard walking around our apartment and seeing her everywhere I still haven’t cleaned out her bedroom or her clothing or any of her personal items and I feel need to do that but can’t seem to motivate myself it’s very hard I too suffer from great anxiety it’s worse at night and it is during the day but it’s present all the time I do work from home So I’m kind of

 

Im very sorry about the loss of your mom and fully understand the impacts. I never had depression and aniexty attacks until just after my mom passed. Agreed night time is the worst of all. My mind races like a rolodex with thoughts, the past, and her suffering. Its somethomg i never expected to have this effect on me.

 

My mom was at our home where we grew up and my dad is still there its almost impossible to fo there now with all the reminders. Its a trigger when visiting. I have read you should face it head on. Nit sure there are any tears left.

 

I lived with my mom. I originally moved there to help with my dad who was chronically ill. He died in 2001. I stayed for mom. She was 91 but totally independent and alert. Mom was my best friend. Our apartment is filled with reminders. I’m planning on cleaning out her room soon to try & get rid of all that. Next year I’m moving and buying a house. I need to start a fresh. I’m on an antidepressant and the doctor gave me a light anti anxiety med too. They help.

 

It was a mistake i didnt mean it to report in the text i dont know what happened.

 

It will be hard to clean out ber stuff and happy to hear your words your mom was your best friend.....i smiled....

 

I am also on an anti depressant now 3 weeks waiting for it to work. A fresh start with a new home will be a good start.

 

Thanks for replying i appreciate the exchange. Feel free to share.

 

I miss her most when I’m going to bed at night and she’s not there to say goodbye to. Thanks for listening. Tell me more about you

 

Good morninh. Sorry for the late reply....im scott 58 married male two adult sons 21 and 27. Im a director of facilities for a local wisconsin school district. Had a rough night last night. High aniexty and questioning everything. Just grief all morning. Trying to reason through. Alot of recall from the past.

 

Nights are the worst and most days being alone for periods of time i just reflect and ask how did i get like this...8 weeks ago i was fine. When did your depression start?

 

I feel good today so far. It’s like a rollercoaster with all the ups and downs. I’m going to try and get out today.

 

That would be good for you get out of the apt and away from home base. Its hard to leave the safe place of home but also required to balance and face the fears. I have forced myself to get out and interact w people its a good distraction. I just fear a crying jag or being over whelmed...

 

How was your day out?

 

It was great. I ended up doing furniture shopping. I’m changing my moms room into mine and I needed a new bed! Then I went food shopping. It felt good.