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Lost my husband suddenly

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Deborah Clark, Aug 9, 2019.

  1. Deborah Clark

    Deborah Clark Member

    My husband passed on June 5, 2019. I don't know how to live my life without him. We were best friends. It is so hard to continue without him. I miss him everyday and I cry often. I don't have the heart to let his things go. I want to have him near me and by getting rid of this I feel I will be letting him go. I don't hardly eat and I stay home all the time
    I don't feel like going out to even do shopping. I hurt all the tim.
     
    Brendameister likes this.
  2. Kriss

    Kriss Well-Known Member

    To
    say it will get easier would be a lie. I lost my husband three months ago. Still crying. Still not leaving home often. You don’t have to get rid of his things til you feel you are able to. I haven’t yet and don’t plan on it for awhile. I hear people say it will get easier and I’m going to choose to believe them. Right now it doesn’t seem possible but hoping it will in time. If you feel you need to cry go ahead and do it. It’s alright. If you feel like sitting the sit. Please try to get out at least once a week if not more. Even if it’s just to go for a walk I’m trying to give myself two things to do a day. Even if it’s just sweep the floors and do dishes. At least I know I am still trying. Let’s keep talking and see how we both do. This sight is helpful and you will get some good responses. Take care.
     
    Deborah Clark likes this.
  3. Deborah Clark

    Deborah Clark Member

    The hardest times for me are the weekends. I do cry a lot and I do get depressed a lot. It's just so hard to live without my husband. My heart feels like it's just going break it hurts so much all the time. Just writing and thinking about him make me cry and I feel so lonely without him. I sometimes can see how I can keep going on without him. I sometimes wish it was me instead of him cause the pain is so hard.
     
  4. Kriss

    Kriss Well-Known Member

    I truly understand. I still wish it was me that left this world. My husband was my world. I’ve made it three months and you will too. One foot in front of the other. Hour by hour. You will go this cuz he helping you. Lean on others. I’m still trying but I have to remember he would want me to keep going. I still cry in bed every night but I’m still here and you will be too. Keep talking to others on here. You got this.
     
    Deborah Clark likes this.
  5. Deborah Clark

    Deborah Clark Member

    It is so hard to lean on others when they don't understand what I'm going thru. In the beginning his family asked me for something personal of his. I can't do that. I want to keep everything.
     
  6. Kriss

    Kriss Well-Known Member

    Don’t give up himthings yet. Those are your things. I had a sister in law who asked for his fishing pole at the funeral home. No way. Those were his and now my memories. I go to a grief counseling group once a month and that helps. Check your church or on line and see if there is one close to you. They do help to lean on because they do understand what you are going thru.
     
    Deborah Clark likes this.
  7. Anna B

    Anna B Member

    It’s been 6 months since I lost my husband. I still have days that I can’t stop crying. Even while I’m at work I feel like I’m holding back the tears all day. I miss him terribly every second of every day. I still have not moved any of his things partly because it’s going to make losing him real. I think I’m still in disbelief that this has happened. I know he would want me to keep doing things I just have no motivation to anything without him and honestly I feel like the rest of my life is this just missing him everyday until we’re together again.
     
    Deborah Clark likes this.
  8. Deborah Clark

    Deborah Clark Member

    I know how you feel. I don't have the motivation to do things either. I haven't gotten rid of any of my husbands things. I don't know if I ever will. This is hard and we just have to take one day at a time and one step at a time. I feel like things are better one day and then the next I'm depressed and feel like I'm never going to be able to get through this. It's the hardest thing i have ever gone through. My life has changed so much without him and I would rather have him back than go without him, but he's gone and I can't change that so I just go one day at a time and hope I'll make it to the next. Keep going forward and you will get to the next day. That's all any of us can do.
     
  9. Anna B

    Anna B Member

    Thank you. I do have my days that I am more rational than other days and know I can’t change what has happened and that this is just my life now living without him no matter how hard I try to fight it nothing will bring him back. I don’t think I will ever give away anything if his. I know life will never be the same and I will miss him until my last day here. I just need to figure out how live life without him. He would want me to be happy but the only thing that would make me happy would to have him back. The hardest part is seeing everyone go on with their lives when he can’t. No one understands the heartbreak unless they have lost their spouse.
     
    Deborah Clark likes this.
  10. Deborah Clark

    Deborah Clark Member

    I agree no one understands what we feel unless they lost a spouse too. I do know it is a day at a time but some days are worse then others and it's hard to see people going on with their lives while ours will never be the same. I'm not getting rid of anything of my husband cause I want him to be near me and I don't want his memory to be gone. I know that will take time but I can see doing it ever. We never know what our future has in store for us but I don't see much change in mine. I loved him so much and he wasn't supposed to die on me when he did. I have a hard time knowing that he will never be with me anymore. I just hope I get to see him again when I leave this life. He means everything to me. Keep talking I'm here for you.
     
  11. Jerico

    Jerico Member

    I'm a new member and identify so much with what you are talking about, i find it hard to imagine my future life without my husband who died suddenly in May. I too think about him practically all the time and ache inside with the loss. Getting out for a walk is helpful because of the rrhythm of walkingand fresh air, but Inhate the evenings which are so long. I usually phone people just to chat to someone. Weekends are also hard because they are family times so I try to visit friends or have somebody stay just for company. We must take small steps and be patient and kind to ourselves and try to occupy our time. I hope this helps. I am suffering too and want peace in my heart more than anything.,
     
    Deborah Clark likes this.
  12. Deborah Clark

    Deborah Clark Member

    So sorry for you loss. We all need peace in our heart and a lot of time for our heart to start to heal. This place helps a lot to get understanding for what we are going through. My heart hurts everyday. Give yourself time.