Lost my husband 6 weeks ago

I lost my husband 6 weeks ago. I miss him very much. Today has been very hard for me
He was a fireman and the dept. Had a memorial service for him. He was very popular he's a kind thoughtful helpful man who had lots of friends.
I am feeling very sad. We would have been married 37 years this Sept. Every place everything is a memory. I loved my husband very much.
He became sick last Sept. And it was down hill from there.
I have lost my mother my aunt my uncle. But this pain is so different. I have friends and family yet I feel so alone.

 

Thank you very much. I too hope I find others to talk to
I have friends and wonderful family but they don't understand. I miss him more and more with each passing day. Again thank you for your reply

 

I lost my 63 year old husband 9 weeks ago. We thought he had diverticultus, having suffered excrutiating pain for 2 months, and also having had kidney stones removed in February. He went into the hospital on March 1, 2017, thinking they would take care of the diverticulitus, and he ended out having an emergency colonscopy on a Sunday evening. On Monday, when they tried to bring him out of the sedation, he grabbed for the tracheostomy and the NG tube, and I held his hand and spoke to him. A few minutes later, he grabbed again, then pointed to the ceiling, looked to the ceiling, and never opened his eyes again. They airlifted him to a larger hospital about 20 miles away on a Wednesday. His son flew in from Michigan on Wednesday afternoon, and we drove to the hospital. His daughter flew in the next day. We were up and down with positive news and worse news for days, and he never woke up. They informed us that the mass they found when they did the colostomy was cancer, and that, if he were to awake, he would be in a nursing home for months, trying to get him strong enough for radiation and chemo. His kidneys failed; they put a stent into his gall bladder; his lungs couldn't sustain him; he did not respond to pain stimulus, even though they did a brain scan on him that showed there was blood flow to the brain. Finally, they said he had heart failure, lung failure and multiple organ failure, so he was disconnected from life support. I cannot function. I am reminded of him with everything I touch or see. I collapse trying to fold clothes, as he always helped me. I have some good periods of time, several hours, then fall apart again. I see no reason to go forward, even though both his son and my son are planning on moving down to our area - my son in the next few months, and his son within the next 2 years. We were only together 10 years, but it is the only person who has every loved me for myself, and the only person I ever felt able to love wholeheartedly, without fear of being tossed aside. I can't move forward....I can't imagine living my life without him. I feel like I am dieing of a broken heart. Yes, I walk the dog....I drink coffee in the morning; I have lost so much weight I weigh less than I did at the age of 15 - I feel no reason to go on living without him. I had always been independent in my life until he moved in with me, 6 months after my previous husband had died. I became dependent him, as I felt safe. Now, I don't know what to do. I live far from everyone in the desert of Arizona; I don't have friends as we were both loners; all of our children live in states thousands of miles away. I have no one to even check on me if I should have another stroke or TIA, and I don't even care if I should die, except I have a dog and a cat. His son texts me several times a day, and my two sons call me almost every day, but I still feel alone. I live in such a rural area that there are no grief support groups within 50 miles. I have been. divorced, widowed once before, lost 3 babies to miscarriage, been given up by my parents when I was 5 years old, but never, never have I felt such loss. I understand your loss of everything and everyplace having a memory....and people that loved him are no longer there, and we are alone. I feel your pain.

 

Annie Lu
My wife of 56 years passed away on April 22nd from colon cancer. She went about the same way your husband did we only new about 8 weeks be for she passed .

It's hard to get through the day with out her. Peggy was the Love of my life.

Ray

 

You have my deepest sympathy on the loss of your lovely wife. Grief is a difficult road to walk. I wish you some semblance of peace and relief from your grief.

 

I lost my husband 7 weeks ago. It was sudden and I was away at the time. He was only 53. I feel responsible because I wasn't home and there for him. We were each others' lives. I lost my parents in succession after long illnesses in my 30's. When I met Patrick he gave me a reason to smile again. We were together 8 years. We had been going through a rough patch so I feel very guilty about the months prior to his loss. He died in our home and I am so uncomfortable being here. I want to move but it is financially challenging. Everything reminds me of him. All I do is cry. I work mostly alone and cry there as well. I have been through so much grief in my life. I don't know how I will get through this. Absolutely nothing makes me feel good. I think I am better off being with him. Will this pain ever end?

 

I feel your grief and pain as I lost the love of my life 6 weeks ago too, and each day is a struggle to try to get strong as I feel lost and alone without him and everywhere I look are the reminders of what was. He was a solider but just passed away while taking a nap but battled major illness and am only grateful he went so peacefully and at home, but it's hard every single day. I'm grateful my dogs insist I keep moving and take care of them and have become my mini therapy as they can't stand to hear me cry, so they wail until they make me shut up from laughing at them.
We are all at new crossroads in our lives and for them and all they stood for we have to get strong and hang in there as best we can and one hour at a time.

 

Erica, I feel your pain. I lost my husband 12 weeks ago. It also was sudden. I wasn't home either. I came home because he did not respond to my phone calls or my texts. I found him half sitting/half laying on our bed with our two dogs and one cat with him. He was only 52. I find myself crying for no reason. I sometimes think I'm a bad person if I laugh at something funny because I should be grieving. I blame myself for not being there. I try to be strong, but I am so weak. I am too proud to ask for help, though I know I need it, even for help around my house. I don't even know how to say "no" so I find myself doing way too much and not letting myself grieve. People keep telling me that i "need" to learn to say "no" but I don't know where you learn this. Erica, thank you for asking the question I continue to ask..."will this pain ever end".

 

Sue i am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband in March. There is nothing I do that doesn't remind me of him. I know how much you miss him because I miss mine too. Weekends are the worse for me.

 

I lost my wife 3 weeks ago and I never knew how much I would miss her and how much it would hurt.

 

I lost my husband in may after a wickedly fast bout with cancer. I’m normally an independent and resilient person, but I just can’t seem to regain any kind for balance.

 

I lost my husband in May after a wickedly fast bout with cancer. I’m normally an independent and resilient person, but I just can’t seem to regain any kind of balance.

 

I am so sorry for your loss and I feel your pain. I lost my husband of 29 years 2 weeks ago and most days I can't breathe it hurts so bad.I just hope it will get easier but right now don't see that happening.

 

I lost my husband my husband of 29 years in May I feel lost & alone. The past few months is lost. I'm not sure how to go forward

 

I lost my future 3 weeks ago. It's hard to breathe every morning when i wake realizing he is gone over and over. I try to make myself think if it were me instead i would not want him to feel lost and alone. I would want him to go on. I still miss him with all my heart and soul and ache to have him by my side again....but i know he would not want me to hurt the way i am hurting. I know your loved ones would feel the same way too.