Lost my first child she was four months

I gave birth to a baby child who was adorable she was born spend four months together, she was my better half and a friend, someone I hoped to see grow but then just one day changed everything she passed away, at times I wonder did I do enough for her, did she see I loved her and I tend she left me so soon to the fact that I feel I failed her. I miss her and life without her is hard to bare, am confused, am hurt and broken into pieces. At times I go back to think about seeing her pass away at hospital and is so hard to accept fully that she is no more, I always say I wish I could turn the clock and you are here. She taught me to be a mother and she left me so soon that it breaks me into pieces.At times I feel maybe I wasn't good mother but I would actually go all out for her, visiting her grave and her pictures is all I have but at times am afraid to look at her pictures as it breaks me into pieces.

 

I have recently lost my 3 him a half month old I still Don't know what happened to him he passed may 30th