My dad passed on 7/30/20 after an almost year long battle with stage 4 esophageal cancer. He was 60 yrs old and two months shy of retirement after 40 yrs of working. He fought so hard, was so positive and hopeful he would beat the odds, but the treatments didn't work and the cancer unfortunately spread. He didn't look like your typical cancer patient because he never lost his hair, maintained his weight up until a month before his death where he became very thin and frail. I was as present for him throughout the past year as I could be. We were 3 hours apart but I would drive to sit with him during his treatments and we celebrated every holiday/event knowing it would be our last. If I didnt see him in person, I would call/text him every day. Thankfully, I was able to share everything I wanted prior to his death and was by his side the day he died. I watched my dad take his last breath and it was by far the most difficult day of my life. Fast forward two months and I am still in disbelief that he is really gone and I go over the day he died in my mind all of the time. I miss him more than I could ever imagine. I cry daily whether it be on my drive to work, on my lunch break, in the shower, while I am cooking, etc. I feel such an overwhelming sense of saddness and have such a short fuse now with people and situations. I feel he got robbed of a life that he deserved but didnt get to live. You know your parents are going to die one day but you never imagine it to be the way my dad did or at his young age. Im able to function in my day to day life but my heart is so sad. Not sure how I will cope with the upcoming holidays. Any advice?