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Lost my dad a month ago

Discussion in 'Finding it Difficult to Move Foward' started by delanneden, Aug 6, 2020.

  1. delanneden

    delanneden New Member

    So I lost my dad a month ago to stage 4 colon cancer. Everything just feels numb and I don't really care. The biggest thing I'm worried about is not caring at my job. Before when Dad was just ok and not sickly yet, I would put in 12 to 16 hours a day. Now I'm lucky if I stay there past 8 hours.
    I was telling my s/o about how I just don't care how the store looks when I leave (I'm a store manager at a convenience store).
    His had wondered why, dumbly.
    I smarted off asking him what he thought had changed in the past month.
    He replied, "You can't blame everything on that. I know he was important but we need to move on."
    We only started dating when Dad got super sick and weighed 160lbs. Yet before he was diagnosed he was pushing closer to 300lbs. He never got to see him at his best and never understood how wonderful of a father he was.
     
  2. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    Sorry for your loss. Only some one that haven't been through a major loss would say it's time to move on. Its only been a month since you lost your dad who was a major part of your life. Their is no time limit on grief. I get that you just not into your job because you feel lost right now. I'm sure your dad would want you to do your best at your job though so.maybe take some time off if you can to figure things out. Sending good vibes your way that you get stronger to deal whatever comes your way.
     
    cg123 likes this.
  3. karenfd

    karenfd Member

    920. The first couple of months I was in a fog. There was nothing that mattered, that was going on in the real world. I used to stand at my door and wonder how the world can go on, because my dad just died. Don't they know my dad just died. So I understand. I was in a fog for about 3 months. There might come a point, that you will come out of the fog, and may see things clearer. It still hurts, but you may be able to exhale. There is no timeline for grieving and like the other person said, if someone hasn't been through a tragedy ours, it's hard to understand what you are going through. Maybe talk to him about your grieving, and it will take time, and you to "move on" is easier said than done.

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