Lost my beautiful wife way to young

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by David Tacy, Apr 13, 2019.

  1. David Tacy

    David Tacy New Member

    My 47 year old wife passed on march 12 2019. She became ill about 2 weeks prior. Doctors kept telling us there was nothing they could find. On the morning of march 12th she told me something was really wrong and she was scared. Before i could pick up my phone to call 911 she got this really strange look on her face and i could see the fear in her eyes. Within a few seconds she was gone. I preformed cpr until medics arrived and they tried for 30 minutes but could not get her back. The worst day of my life watching that. Now the days just dont get better and i dont know what to do. She was my life and my soulmate. Please help me.
     
  2. ksteve

    ksteve Member

    David, I am so sorry for your loss. My wife passed away 5 months ago and the emptiness still exists. I have moments when I am OK and there seems to be more of those lately. But I've told myself things will never be the same. I wish I could tell you what I was feeling that first months but to tell you the truth, I don't remember much. I think I just kept replaying our last days together over and over. This is going to take time and we all do things at our own pace. I found that just talking about it or even writing responses on this site helped. People on this site "get it" - they understand grief. The days do get better but you will have the empty void the rest of your life. You will always have that special place for her in your heart and mind and no one can take that away. I keep trying to coexist with the memories we made together and my life without her. This is the hardest thing I've ever done and there isn't a day that goes by (so far) that I don't have a tear in my eye. But I'm determined to make the most of my life for whatever amount of time I have left - my wife would want it that way.
     
    LindaH likes this.
  3. David Tacy

    David Tacy New Member

    Thankyou for your reply. I have yet had a day without tears. I just dont know what to do without her. Waking up without her next to me and coming home from work to an empty house are the hardest times.
     
  4. LindaH

    LindaH Well-Known Member

    David, I am so sorry for your loss.

    My husband will be gone three years on Easter.
    I would like to tell you things will get better.
    But for me they have just gotten different. He was my missing piece.
    It has helped coming here. Since all of us here understand as Steve stated.
    Three months after my husband died I started a journal which has really helped me.
    My thoughts will be with you as you start this journey that none of us want to be on.
     
  5. Katydid

    Katydid New Member

    My darling husband died in a tragic car accident in which I was driving. I do not feel guilty, as I am not. Just the unbearable seeing him everywhere in this house. I cry all the time.
     
  6. Katydid

    Katydid New Member

    Dearest David....my heart goes out to you. My husband died March 5...auto accident. I feel as you do. Lost without him. We loved each other soul. My help to you is that I truly feel your pain. I just can’t wake up from this nightmare. I have friends and church. My children and his abandoned me. I try each day to eat and rest and pray and call someone. Also: Hospice of the Valkey has grief counseling. I start next week. Remember this...I truly care about you. God Bless.
     
  7. Dave55

    Dave55 Member

    Hi everyone I am new to this I am just trying to figure out a way to cope with losing my wife of 42 years she died of cancer on April the filthy and I find it hard to get through my day and I cry all the time I’m alone is dries me nuts out and just trying to find help to get through this with people it has gone through it maybe they know something that I don’t
     
  8. ksteve

    ksteve Member

    Dave55 - It brings back memories as we were in our mid sixties as well and that age is suppose to be the sweet time in your life. My wife also died of cancer. The first month is a real whirlwind of emotions. It gets to a point where you can't even function. What you are feeling is what many on this board feel or have felt - that's what we have in common or as this site's name says - Grief in Common. I can't sugar coat this response. This is going to be one of the most difficult challenges you have ever had. Some folks take months others are even much slower at moving on. I've observed that some folks make one post and are never heard from while others come back to this site over a longer period and have responses to others or just to visit. For sure, no one wants to be here even myself. I would like to move on but even at 6 months I still feel comfort coming to this site. It helps me to share my story with others or just letting people know that we understand their grief. Nothing wrong with crying. I'm six months into this and I still shed a tear quite frequently. I can honestly say I'm better then I was six months ago - still sad and still lonely but better. I don't ever see getting back to normal but how could we? We've both had a relationship for over 40 years and it's a huge part of us. I just try to co-exist with her memories and my broken heart and if I can succeed at that, I'm OK. I never know what tomorrow brings so I guess I'll just stick around and find out. So give yourself as much time as you need and understand that there are no magic tricks to make this go away. However, there is a flicker of light at the end of this tunnel.
     
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  9. Dave55

    Dave55 Member

     
  10. Dave55

    Dave55 Member

    Thanks Dave knowing that I’m not the only one that has to go through this and has these kind of problems it it helps a lot I find it very hard to leave our home just to go to the grocery store or anywhere if feels like I’m leaving her so I just stay in the house and look at her pictures so I hope with the help of my two sons and their wives hopefully they can help But talking to you listening to your story it made me feel better maybe you know him talking with you guys here will help me a lot thank you again and I’m also sorry for your loss it is like you you lose something and you never find again
     
    LindaH likes this.
  11. Dave55

    Dave55 Member

     
  12. Dave55

    Dave55 Member

    I know I’ve had people come to my house trying to help me and I keep saying it I know exactly how I’m going through but you know they really don’t know what a person goes through when they lose their partner that they’ve been with for so many years I’m just at a loss as to what to do with my life it and I feel like that you know I don’t wanna continue live without my partner we kind of grew up together when we were married I was 19 she was 18 we were just kids playing house I loved her so much