Lost husband in covid

The people in my workplace are terribly nice. They put up with my complete uselessness, and also try to gently bring me out of my negative space.
Hope your day was good too.

 

I am so thankful you have people you work with who are being supportive. That is rare because it is hard for people who have never experienced such grief to really understand how heavy this is and how it affects the mind so much. In the beginning of this grief walk we are consumed with our loss and it is hard to think about anything else and next to impossible to concentrate. What kind of work are you in?

 

I am a research scientist.
Yes, I too feel that I have become exceedingly self-cetred.
Even the happiness and bonding that I share with my children is no longer that strong.
Now I feel like they are mere kids, I cant share my pain with them, rather have to shield them from it.
I cant allow their loss to ruin their childhood, but dont know how to do that.
That makes me miss my husband even more. We always depended on each other to pull us out of any rut, and now I am in the deepest rut ever, but no hand can help me out of it.

 

Hugs across the miles. My husband of 20 years died from Covid 08-17-2021. I’m feeling lost too. I’m here for you.

 

[QUOT

So sorry, so sorry for your loss dear.
Its been 5 months today for me.
I am still fighting with my loneliness and darkness every day.
Wish you all the strength in the world.
E="April2gh, post: 19962, member: 26556"]Hugs across the miles. My husband of 20 years died from Covid 08-17-2021. I’m feeling lost too. I’m here for you.[/QUOTE]

 

So glad I found this website. My husband died in April this year from covid. He was only 56. He had diabetes and developed covid pneumonia. Died in hospital after 2 weeks. He started to get a little better and then took a turn for the worst. The day he died was the worst day of my life. Went back to work in June because I had to keep busy. It did help and my worplace was very suportive.

 

"They shouldn't have paid me"......is the guilt i've carried since i went back to work.

 

"They shouldn't have been paying me." That's the guilt i've been carrying since i went back to work.

 

Thank you so much for your honest words because it is the first time I have ever heard anyone else besides myself say that. I still carry that guilt even though I have asked God to forgive me. I kept going to work because we needed my income to keep our house-selfish reason to go to work. I hate it. I do not know if I could do it over again what I would do. Probably the same thing. I feel awful about it and it nags at me so often-one of my big regrets and guilt trips.