Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in July 2019.. Doctors gave us great hope for long survival and dad was responding well to chemo and cancer was showing shrinkage.. Dad passed away in November 2019.. He was doing just fine and then one day just woke up and things declined so quickly and was gone in a blink of an eye. He went into the hospital for not feeling well due to chemo side effects and came out on hospice and only was in hospice 2 full days before his passing.. We were watching tv, laughing and eating his favorite meal less than 24 hours before he was gone. I was my dads caregiver the entire time he was sick and spent most of my time at his house when I wasn't at my 8-5 job. I am so angry and feel like even a few months later that I am still in shock. Everyday I wish I would wake up and have to force myself to do normal life things and I have lost all motivation for work. I often wake up in the middle of the night and check my phone because my body is still in caregiver mode and is waiting for a text from my dad. I feel so useless. I lash out at everyone and am irritable 24/7. I am relatively young and feel an intense anger that my dad is going to miss so many important moments with me. Does it ever get any easier?