I honestly don't know what to say here. I've never done or had to do anything like this. I lost my boyfriend of 2 years to death by suicide over a month ago, I even witnessed him do it. Like so many others that I've read so far, everything seemed normal as usual that day and we even fought over some petty stuff. He was there one minute and gone the next, just like that. I had no idea he was in so much pain that he would do that. My grieving process so far hasn't been easy of course. His family asked me not to be part of his funeral services which took it's own toll and for the past month not only did I lose someone I wanted for the rest of my life I lost the house we lived in together and so much more. I also have had several of his friends be very cruel to me and tell me "Just tell us the truth?!" There are people who blame me and even believe I harmed him. There's so much stress and anxiety and pain and then to have people who don't know you add to the guilt you already have. It's all so very hard. I feel so lost and I'm still in shock. Everything is a blur. Thank you to whomever ever listens or even reads this. I'm sorry for everyone's suffering and loss.