I woke up this morning as the new norm for my reality, I lay there a while and tearfully missed my wife. Took a shower to get ready for work and found out my main sewer line is blocked up because my shower wasn’t draining; after I got dressed I tried to unclog it myself because I am a fix it myself type of guy but I don’t have the right equipment. Called the plumber out and after I got off the phone it just hit me like a freight train out of nowhere, I cried hard for at least 30 minutes. I cry for her loss everyday and usually I can feel when it’s going to happen so I can isolate myself by make an exit for the restroom and that usually clears up in a couple of minutes but this kind of surprised me; it came out of nowhere and it was a full total loss of control. I’m glad I was still at home when this happened. It’s been a little over 2 months since her passing and this is the first real loss of control. Is this something that is common? The full loss of control? Maybe it was triggered from this being such a normal home situation that has happened in the past that was shared with my wife?
My wife Mary had been gone about 10 weeks. A couple of weeks ago I got home from work to find my A/C out. It was over 90 degrees in the house. Mary would have called me early in the afternoon to let me know it was not working. We would have handled it together. But I handled it OK, called the repairman. He showed up about 8:00 pm and had me cool in about an hour. The next morning after I got up and had some breakfast I was just sitting watching TV when it hit. I cried like a baby for a couple hours. I could not stop..... It just came on me all of a sudden. I was thinking of how we would have handled the A/C problem. For those 2 hours I could not function, glad I was not at work. It has been 12 weeks since her death and I still can't go through a day without crying. Sometimes it is a somber cry, others is full on loss of control just like you described. I am still just taking it hour by hour...............
I’m sure that is what happened to me. I was thinking about that it was a normal home situation that we would have handled together. The drain pipe is flowing good now. I guess these will pop up more than I want them to, but what do you do? Like a guy said in another post “get use to our new normal”!
I don’t believe in a new normal. There will never be anything normal again. It will just be my life as it happens.
I have a bad hip and it started acting up while I was shopping. I went to the register and asked if I could use the shopping cart to get back to my car, explaining that I couldn't walk right then without support. They said their carts could not leave the store so I shuffled best I could through the parking lot bawling my eyes out because my husband was no longer there to hold me and support me safely. He could no longer drive because of his dementia but he would have held my arm and supported my back and got me to that car. Once I was in the car it was another hour of crying until I could drive back to my empty house. I'm sure people walking by me wondered what was wrong with this woman crying in the parking lot but I don't think we get to choose when we will cry. It's been 3 months and I cry off and on every single day. I understand both your situations and wish you peace ad I seek it.
