Loss of husband.....and many others.

This past June my husband passed away suddenly the day after our daughter’s 14th birthday. We had a falling out and I had not spoken to him in some time and our last words to each other were unkind. I thought that I had moved on from him and no longer had any love left for him. It wasn’t until he passed that I realized how much I still loved him and that he was sick from a substance abuse addiction. All it has left me with is our past that I can no longer mend or even get any closure from. As well as a future without him for not only myself but our 3 children (10, 12 & 14.) The regrets are endless and the hardest to try and cope with.

In addition to losing my husband, I have also lost my parents in 2011 & 2013 due to illness that I have never processed through. I was their caregivers before they passed. I am an adult orphan that I feel everyday. I lost my one of my best friends in 2006 unexpectedly as well as a close family friend (so close that he lived in my house) in 2001 also unexpectedly due to an accident.

I just don’t know how to “move on” from here with so many losses....especially my husband. Trying to grieve is hard enough without having to try and help your children grieve for their father/loved ones as well.