Hi everyone, I'm 31 years of age. I lost my mum a few years ago suddenly and I lost my dad a few weeks ago to motor neurone disease. I know I won't be the youngest person on this forum to have lost both parents but I do feel like a massive part of my identity has died with them. Also started pushing people close to me away as I feel that my grief is drowning them as well as myself. Is this feeling normal? X
Sorry to hear about your parents. I don’t know that there is such a thing as “normal”. Everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time. Some people find that keeping a journal helps. Others turn to religion. Others find forums like this to vent and seek others in similar situations. Still others see a therapist. You should do whatever feels right for you.
I can understand you devastation, overwhelming grief and feeling of loss of identity. I too lost both of my beloved parents in a short period of time unexpectedly. This is like a rites of passage that almost everyone will experience in their lifetime - the loss of a loved one. I know our parents want the best life , joy, happiness for us. Not sadness and prolonged disenchantment. I try to focus on that thought more so than their absence and tune into their spirit and blood of theirs in my veins. This is indeed the most challenging life experience one can endure and learn how to champion. I wish you all the best and surrender when you are feeling overwhelmed. Ask them to fill you up with love and guidance. https://whatsyourgrief.com/16-practical-tips-continuing-bonds/
Kai Dubose, that is very good advice to surrender when you feel overwhelmed. I lost both of my parents last May. I feel like it gets better sometimes but then all of a sudden I feel so alone in the world and it is unbearable. Yesterday was one of those days. My birthday was Monday and I got through that ok because I worked all day. But then I just lost it yesterday and was a complete mess. I called in sick today because I just couldn't do it. I feel like I should be able to manage my emotions a little better.
Hi Kristy, Thank you for reaching out. I just saw this TEDx talk about Grief. This guy was talking about his organization "Good Grief", I haven't look it up yet. But I know how you feel. I have many many many days hours minutes like that. I call it "Good Grief!" I think I should be able to manage my emotions better too. Im learning coping tools and my therapist says I should get into making a support team for myself. Mostly I feel so sad that I just want to be happy. To be honest Im learning how to be a new me. I just keep hearing my mom say " You have all the time in the world". So I try to relax into not feeling guilty about my grieving process. Peaks and valleys. Do you ever play music that your parents like to listen too? It might be sad to listen to because of the memories but they still like to hear it.
thanks for the response! I will check out that organization. Just wondering how you go about making a support team for yourself? I was in therapy for a while but I moved and haven't found a new therapist yet. I also haven't met many people in my new city. I have friends who I call and text quite a bit but overall I just feel really alone. I'm trying to get back into wanting to do things and socialize but I just am not really feeling like it lately.
