Loss my mom Jan 20th

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by SouthernGal, Feb 13, 2020.

  1. SouthernGal

    SouthernGal Member

    I’m so sorry to hear of everyone’s loss and being in so much pain. I’m disabled now and have plenty of time to chat. I’ll listen to ya. I’m hurting myself because my mother passed away Jan 20th. I’m still in shock. She was 66 and had a heart attack. There was a lot of blockage so she had triple bypass surgery and never woke up from surgery. She was on life support for a week until her kidneys and lungs started to fail. She was in a small hospital in Mt View AR, so they flew her to St. Louis for better dialysis equipment but she died alone in the plane. I didn’t get to see her before the surgery because I have a blood clot and she didn’twant me to travel. She said she’d see me after rehab from the heart surgery. She wanted to be cremated so she was in St. Louisand mailed to us so I never saw her and haven’t really grasped everything that happened so fast. I know she’s gone but I still can’t believe it. I guess because I didn’t get to see her. My brother and sister saw her while she was on life support in the smallhospital and said their goodbyes when it wasn’t looking to good.

    I just feel like she’s at home in AR and I’m in LA and she doesn’t have cell phone service to call. Sometimes I just find myselfwaiting for when I can call her. I’m her first born and we were really close. We basically grew up together because she got pregnant at 14. No my dad age 16 didn’t stick around. So she’s my only parent. She helped me raise my two sons as a divorced,single mom. They were close to her too. I have had a lot of surgeries in my 50 years and she’s been at every one and nursed meback while helping me with the boys. They’re grown now (19 & 24). I don’t know who will help me if I have another surgerysomeday. I’m so use to having her anytime I needed her and vise versa. I cared for her when she had knee surgery. I miss her so much. There’s a heavy pain or pressure in my chest that’s been there since she died. I think my heart is really broken. This is my first experience with grief. I don’t like it at all. Feel free to message me anytime any of ya want or need to chat. I wish you all peace and happiness.