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Losing my daughter

Discussion in 'Suicide Loss' started by Yolanda, Apr 16, 2019.

  1. Yolanda

    Yolanda New Member

    Two years ago Valentine's day my 38 year old daughter completed suicide over a relationship with a woman who had been married with 3 children. I could not tell her how to live her life although as a mother I knew it could not last forever. My daughter wore her heart on her sleeve and when she fell hard for this woman I knew deep in my heart, if anything happened to my daughter it would be this ending. I still have a difficult time accepting her death, because of the way she left.
     
  2. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Yolanda, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I think those who lose a loved one to suicide find it leaves behind so much longing, so many questions, and so much hurt. It can be very hard to find anyone to connect with who will understand, but I hope you'll find some support here. We are here to help~
     
  3. TheyLiv

    TheyLiv Member

    Yolanda,
    My daughter's suicide was much the same. She was in a toxic relationship and it resulted in suicide. On April 24th, it was a year. On April 8th, she would've been 18. Every day is a struggle in accepting their choices. For my daughter, it seemed that she felt that was the only option for her. But as parents, we continue no matter how rough the struggle is every day. We get up in the morning. We get dressed every morning. We will hold that place in our hearts for them every single moment of every single day. I still wake up thinking that I was just having some sort of weird nightmare. Some days I cry without reason. Some days I cry A LOT with reason. I think that I'll never feel like I've healed. But that's okay. It's okay to NOT be okay. How can anyone expect you to? Take each minute one at a time at first. Get through 5 minutes at a time. Your perspective will change and if you're like me at all, you suddenly filter out the unimportant and realize the true value of things in your life. Don't worry what other people think of your grief. Let those feelings out. I write letters to my daughter in a journal. At first, they were paralyzing and it took me hours to write a paragraph because I couldn't stop crying. Now, I can write letters about what's going on in my day and how much I miss her. I look at her picture every single day and tell her that I love her. But don't every feel alone in your struggle. We are all struggling, just at a different stage or pace. You are loved too. You are supported. Reach out. You will get there someday at your own pace.

    TheyLiv
     
    Shattered Heart and AdriaStar like this.