letting go of his things

tomorrow I will be donating my husbands mini van to charity, I tried to find a way to hold on to it but there is no practical way for me to keep it, I have my own car which he bought for me and my kids have their own cars. The van was his that we used together and he used it to go back and forth to work, it always gave him issues but i had it looked at after he passed away to see if I should keep it instead of my car because I really was hoping it was in better condition than my car so that I could have given my car away instead of the van, but it wasn't, but what it really came down to is that I was looking for excuses to not let it go. It's been sitting in front of my house for the past 7 months since he died, the battery is dead in it and no one has driven it. I've finally realized that it's time to let it go, I just feel like I'm letting a piece of him go because it was his and I know that tomorrow as they're taking it away a part of him will too, I just hope I can get through it.

 

I can certainly understand how hard it is to let it go. My sister passed away about 2 1/2 mos ago and although she did not have a car she was always in mine (we lived together) since she did not drive. Two mos ago my car was rear-ended at a stop sign and the other driver's ins company deemed it a "total loss" since it is a very old car and the cost of repairing it was more than the car was worth. I've been stalling on accepting the offer from the ins company and letting the car go. In my mind I know that it isn't worth spending money to repair it myself but for sentimental reasons it is hard to let it go. I feel like I am losing another part of my sister. Finally, I made the decision to accept the settlement and my car will be towed away on Friday. That will be very difficult to see but, like you, hope I can get through it.

 

I can relate. When my brother passed away a year ago in April, I had my dad drop all of his belongings off at my house. Dad was going to take everything to the Goodwill a week or two after he died. That made me angry and I wasn't going to let him just toss it all away like he was never there. So I took everything right down to his socks. I still have all of it but, in the last few months I have been considering donating it to the Men's homeless shelter. I think that I am ready for that step and feel much better about where his clothes are going rather than giving it to the Goodwill only to be sold. Donating his belonging to the Men's Shelter in his memory, is exactly how I am able to take that next step in healing. I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you are able to find peace.