Just lost wife of 23 years

Correction: One of my closest friends, not
"NY" friends. Lou

 

Ron,

I don't have much time right now, but I want to thank you for sharing that very special and beautiful picture of Caryl. Like Lou, I still can't look at pictures of my wedding, or go anywhere near the boxes of photo albums that are filled with pictures taken a long time ago. It's way too painful. I have to leave the doors to the guest bathroom and the guest bedroom closed, because of the very traumatic circumstances surrounding the last night Bob was alive. I feel like I have PTSD from that night at home, and from Bob's stay in the ER later that night, through the early morning hours of the next day, when he passed away at 3:45 a.m.

Although you might not think so, I think it was very brave for you to post the beautiful picture of Caryl here, to share it with all of us. I think, even though I know you don't see it this way, that you've taken a big step in moving forward along this miserable path, that not one of us would have chosen to take.

So much more I would like to say to you, but I have to stop here (for now.)

Please take care of yourself the best you can. Caryl would want this for you. I believe with all my heart that Caryl would want you to be happy. Athough it will never be the same, and although the dark cloud of grief will always be hanging over your head, from what I've been told by others who are further along in their grief journeys than I am, it is possible to find happiness again. However, it will always be mixed with sorrow too.

Sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Hi Ron,
Unable to use my iPad often.
Just read your post, I understand
what all you are feeling. Your wife Caryl
is a beautiful lady.
Ron, have you thought of getting a nice
walker with comfortable seating?
When my husband Jack had Parkinson's,
I bought him one like I mentioned, he
couldnt use a cane. The walker was
great help in early stage of the disease,
( age of 56) I took care of him through
the next 24 years, nine years prior to
his passing at home (in my arms) I
cared for him 24-7.
I have cried every awakening morning,
missing Jack.
I know when , in God's timeing
we will be united together in Heaven.
God carried me during those years
Of Jack's illness, and when HE took him
to Heaven. It's been very hard on this
now journey of grief, I daily pray
and call out to God , to give me
peace within my broken heart.
Not far behind you in age, I will
be 84 years of age in January. We
were blessed with each other 61
Years, our 65th was last May. How
he looked forward to the age of
retirement ,but instead , had to retire
much earlier because of horrible
PD.
I now spend my life thanking
God for each and every day we had
together, our marriage our great
love forone another.
I know God has things
HE wants me to do in what life I have
remaining on this earth, I am
Keeping you in prayer along
with all others here.
Blessings, Patti

 

Patti, it was so kind for you to reach out to
Ron. You and Deb ( who "talks" with me
every morning and night) have been an
inspiration to me. You seem much younger
than your chronological years, bc you
take an interest in people, and try to
comfort them, despite your own pain. My
role model in my small town is a woman,
97 years old. She buried TWO husbands,
but doesn't dwell on the past, unless one
asks her. She has a positive attitude, likes
to hear other people's stories, including
mine. Her kindness shines through. She
walks everywhere, with a wheelie, which
has a basket, into which she can put her
sweater & bags. She always dresses
nicely, and wears large hats to protect
her face from the sun. The woman never
smoked or drank, and looks like she's in
her late 70s. Most of all, she has a great
sense of humor, like many of the people
here, despite our pain. I guess some of our
greatest comedians came out of sadness.
Lou