Just Found This Website. Heartbroken

My wonderful, amazing wife of 31 years died yesterday after 5 months of battling cancer. She was my best friend, my rock and my true love. I thought I was ready to handle the obvious outcome, but when I went to bed last night and she wasn't there, I sat on the edge of the bed and cried like a baby. Just got home from the funeral home. I'm exhausted and incredibly sad. I do hope things will get at least a little better down the road. Thanks for reading this.

 

I feel your pain, and I am so sorry for your loss. My loss took place, also from cancer, on October 18th of 2019, (at 8:40 AM) and I'm still feeling the gaping hole in my soul. That feeling hasn't gone away, but I have learned to exist and function despite the still falling tears. Thanks to my Hospice Grief Counselor, Joanie and the friendships of some of the members of this forum, I have been able to live a somewhat normal life. Joanie encouraged me to write my feelings down, and that has led to three published songs written as tribute to my soulmate
Janet. Find something to occupy your time, and your mind. It will help.
Keep interacting with the good folks on this website, They have been a huge help to me. I have made forever friendships here.
May God offer you solace and peace.

 

Thank you, Songman. Your words are very helpful. My choice of music is the Blues, but I know it's going to be a good while before I'm ready to pick up my guitar again....

 

Here are some of the songs I wrote. I hope that they may give you comfort.

William Lathrop - YouTube

 

I'm happy that you have music in your life. It truly is a Godsend. Hospice, music, and this site have all been sources of healing for me. (I love the Blues). I'm working on a new one called "Can I" , At this point it's going to be a Bossa Nova, but that could change.
Who are some of your favorite Blues artists? I have a long history of jazz involvement.
and know, or knew, quite a few blues artists. I'm 86 years old and one of my fondest memories is meeting Louis Armstrong after a concert when I was just 16 years of age, and spending over an hour talking with him and the members of his band.

Bill

 

I REALLY enjoyed your songs and I think they are VERY good!! Wow.....86....... not sure I'll get there myself. I just turned 69. I love Satchmo, sometimes I cover "What A Wonderful World" but I can't do it anything like he could. I'm a huge Tony Joe White fan and I also like Etta James, Charlie Musselwhite, BB King, Lightning Hopkins, Robert Johnson, etc. Just don't feel lick music right now though.

 

I’m so sorry for your loss, and totally understand not feeling like music right now. I went through that too. Music had been such a happy part of my life and then losing my husband to a sudden heart attack. All music did was make me feel worse. I’m able to listen now but it still can be difficult.
I’ll agree, Bill is quite amazing. He’s so talented and he’s a huge part of helping me recover. We’ve become friends through this site and we have each other’s back. Give yourself time to mourn, only do what you have to, one day one moment at a time. Get fresh air and accept any and all support offered. If someone asks what they can do for you and you can’t come up with anything specific, ask them to come over and sit and have a cup of coffee. That’s a wonderful help just having someone to talk to.
I lost my husband of 41 years, 2 years ago. He was healthy but suffered a massive heart attack that took him from our wonderful life in 2 hours. I went into a shock like state and I’ll admit it’s been such a difficult journey. We were as one, did everything together. Ran a business together that I had to close. Together 24/7, so nothing is like it was, I’ve never lived alone until now. He was 63 when he passed and he was strong and appeared healthy until that night at 9:30 pm, I called 911 and he was rushed to the hospital, at 11:34 he lost his fight and my life came crushing down. I’m pushing through as best I can, things do get easier but it takes time and the feelings remain but not quite as ready to explode. I can watch his favorite movies and listen to his favorite music most days. I can think of memories that make me smile now. But I still can’t sit in his chair, I didn’t while he was here even though he told me too. His iPad is still on the armrest where he left it. One day I’ll sit there and hopefully feel his warmth.
My advice is to visit this site often and read and share stories, there’s a community of people here who understand and know how you’re feeling. You’re not alone. Get fresh air each day if possible and take care of yourself. Your wife would want that.