On one hand it seems like just yesterday and on the other, seems like forever. Ours is a long fairytale of a love story. I married my highschool sweetheart. We went together 4 years before we married. He was drafted into the Army in 1968. I graduated in 1969 and thats the year we were married. He was not sent to the Vietnam war, he was stationed in Virginia and they made him a cook. We married and had our first son while he was in the Army. After that when he got out we eventually bought our first home together. We had another son, in 1978 and bought and sold a few times. We moved to northern Vermont in 1992. We just made a leap of faith. We knew we would make it one way or another. As long as we had each other we would figure it out. It was a fairytale life. We experienced so many wonderful things there, together. We had horses and dogs and each other. We lived there 17 years. We moved to be closer to our family, to Tn. Then made one more move together, to Ky. All the time getting closer to family and our home state Ohio. We didnt live in Ky for hardly a year and I lost him to cancer. I guess it was can er, he never would see a doctor. And now I have a beautiful home, but it doesnt feel like home wihout him . No matter what I do, I am always missing you. The dogs are my only reason to go on, to make a home for them. But I just cant get past this nagging pit in my stomach, that you are not here. My whole life was you. It seems to be harder every day to do anything but sit here and cry. Its not getting easier, its getting harder. I cannot envision my life without you. Missing you, I love you forever.
So sorry for your loss. My Jeff passed 9 1/2 months ago, we were married 31 years. We also had just bought new home, and it's not the same without him. It's a house right now, a place to stay warm and dry, but the heart of the home is no longer there. We had so many plans for the property but I do not have the motivation to complete any of them. It is so hard to move forward when all I want is to live in the past with all our wonderful memories. They say time will heal all things, but time only seems to make me miss him more.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Being together for so many years a couple does lean on each other. Through thick and thin. I cared for my husband the last year, he wasnt capable of doing much. But I was thankful he was there. Yes it creates a huge void. We had moved from our home state in 1992, to northern Vermont. We wanted to experience that rural lifestyle, we loved winter and most of all, a white Christmas. It was pretty much a guarantee having a white Christmas. We had a wonderful life living there for 17 years. We had dogs, and horses and our own sleigh ride. As we got older we wanted to move closer to our families. We moved to thr Smoky Mountains. We lived happily there for 8 years. Then I began to realize he was not well. He would never see a doctor. No matter how much I nagged, he would not go. I wanted to be even closer to our families. We always wanted to live in a log cabin, so we moved one more time to Kentucky getting closer to family. I knew in my heart he was not going to ge with me forever. We lived in that little cabin not even a year and he passed away in March of this year. Once I was alone, I didnt want to stay in that cabin. It wasnt the same, and it constantly reminded me of being alone. I felt so isolated. I was still 4 hours from family. So I decided to put our place up for sale and it sold right away. So here I am, me and our dogs, only half hour from our families. I lived with our Son until I found a place for me and our dogs. But this place, I know Tom would have loved it. As I unpack our lifetime of memories and collections, they just make me sadder. I always ask the universe, WHY me. I think sometimes am I such a horrible person that you are punishing me this way ? It isnt easy after all those years. We were a team, everything was 50/50. I always swore I loved him more, and he swore no, he loved me more. There will never be another.....and its hard to live life now, alone... it doesnt get easier it gets harder..... I am so sorry for your loss. I do know the feelings and emotions you are going through. Now that I wrote a book, ..... and I do keep a journal. I started the day before Tom passed. I talk to him inthat way, and I think it helps me......
Well, Thanksgiving was difficult. Our Sons came for dinner, but it wasnt the same. These holidays are depressing.
Yelloweye your story sounds so much like mine, I married my high school sweetheart and she passed away from cancer 8 months ago. We had 3 girls together and were married almost 40 years. I am lost and alone without her. Me too it seems like it is getting harder not easier to live life without her. Thanksgiving was nice even though the tears were still there. But that was one day now I am alone again with my cat. Don't know what to do, the pain is always there.
