Sophie, I lost my husband of 41 years to cancer too! He passed away here at home 5 months ago, after a courageous 1 1/2 year battle with that unspeakable horrid 'cancer'. Like you, I had a husband unparalleled. There will never anyone like him. He was "the one my soul loved." I do not know where I began and he left off. He did not have biological children, but he loved my 2 children, son-in-laws and grandchildren. And oh! how they loved him.
The funny thing is I am coping at the other end of the spectrum than you. I am creating chaos in my life. I made 4 appointments on the same day at the same time!! Whew!
I go to a monthly Bereavement Group, I have a Stephen Minister (lay person), weekly to a therapist and go to daily (almost) mass. As if I haven't delved into enough of a mixer of activities (volunteering in 3 groups, providing dinner for a couple expecting because wife is housebound for the next month, play mahjong one a week, birthday luncheon once a month, bunco once a month.), I am seriously considering adopting a Labradoodle! That will be a job in itself. Researching if it's the right breed for me, visiting the breeding farm several times (3 hours from my home). I think that will have to wait until I am ready to stay home.
I am exhausted, almost past my anger with God and yes, my husband. Why did he have to get cancer and die at 65??? He left me here all alone to deal with everything on my own.
My daughters & I are all grieving and feeling sorry for ourselves, so we are not able to fully support each other.
I miss him so much! He was my everything for 1 1/2 years, every moment of every day, I cared for him. I stopped all non-hubby activity. We were all together, while we fought cancer together as a family. But regarding our daughters, because they have full lives, I hear from one maybe once a week, and rarely from the other daughter (she lives 1,725 miles from me). We text every day or 2 days.
I do not know if this makes any sense or helps you in any way. Just know that you started this conversation and you helped me. Thank you dear sister.
Peace and blessing,
Fafa (my grandmother moniker
)
Click to expand...