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It gets worse as time passess...

Discussion in 'Suicide Loss' started by affy, Sep 10, 2020.

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  1. Txanne

    Txanne Member

    Dearest Chris, that is so precious, it speaks for itself.
    I love you too, Chris. We are truly interacting with each other as God planned. Not one supreme human over the others. But sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings openly with each other without fear of reprisal.
     
  2. c marie

    c marie Active Member

    Anne, I am so thankful to have you for an understanding friend.
     
  3. c marie

    c marie Active Member

    It occurred to me that maybe we should continue to communicate on either your posting page or mine, since this is Tom's page. What do you think?
     
  4. Txanne

    Txanne Member

    Either way is fine with me
     
  5. c marie

    c marie Active Member

    Fine either way with me too. Just continue as is, if you want.
    I appreciate you.
     
  6. Txanne

    Txanne Member

    So I've been out of touch while spending 9 days in the hospital. I mentioned a fleeting thought of taking inventory to know I have on hand enough medication to escape in case I can no longer tolerate life. My therapist called 911. I did not take any pills to actually try to die. I did however chug alcohol without measuring how much, not to try to die, but to sedate myself knowing I would be taken to a non smoking hospital which is a stressful thought to me. I drank more than I thought and told EMS I was willing to go to the hospital before I suddenly became unresponsive. I was intubated and flown by helicopter to the hospital. I did not intend for that to happen. I was in for 9 days. They pretended I got better but I'm actually not.
     
  7. c marie

    c marie Active Member

    You have been missed. I am sorry to hear that you are having such a tremendous struggle. We want to somehow escape this unbearable pain, but we are not given that choice. We are forced to go on and let God give us the strength to continue until we begin to heal from this terrible tragedy. I contemplated suicide myself, but finally realized that people would realize it was not accidental. I just kept telling God that even though His word says he will never give us more than we can bear, that He must have been wrong. I have always believed that God's word is true and had told my mother that as she suffered through a divorce, but when I experienced the overwhelming pain of the loss of our child, I did not believe I could make it another day with the unbearable pain. However, I was wrong and God was right. Even though it seemed completely impossible, I made it through another day, then week, then year. I just kept holding onto the belief that only God could help me-and He did. This is a slow painful walk that we must go through to get to a place of peace and acceptance. Don't give up. God loves you and is there for you if you ask Him. You can make it and I want you to make it. May God bless and strengthen you. I love you and care about you.
    Chris
     
  8. Scharmed32

    Scharmed32 New Member

    Hi Tom, I just found this site a few days ago. I lost my only child to suicide in January of this year, I also feel like I’m getting worse. I don’t know some days I’m ok, I think and other days I cry for hours. Is that how it is for you?