It’s been 5 and a half years and I still get stuck. Need help.

5 and a half years ago I lost my fiancé who I was with for 7 years and our 4 year old son in a car accident. I was 25 at the time of my loss. It’s been an extremely rough roller coaster. Ups and downs, ups and downs. And still, 5 and a half years later I’m up and down. I’ve tried to talk to therapists twice, but I didn’t feel much from it. It’s like there are no words or anything that I can be told to help me. I’ll be good for a few weeks then boom! I’m stuck in bed. Literally don’t leave my home or even open the front door for 2-4 days. I feel like I’m lazy, but I know it’s much deeper than that. It’s almost as if this up and down roller coaster is just a part of my DNA now. I wasn’t always this way. Recently, I have met another woman and gotten engaged and she has been absolutely amazing and understanding. I feel like I’m letting her down though. Small tasks seem like large tasks to do. I don’t want to do anything or go anywhere. I have an extremely negative mindset.

I need help. I am hoping to find someone who has gone through something similar and made it through. Someone who’s bad days aren’t so bad anymore. I know we’re all different and all handle grief differently, but I need something. I’m ready to get off of the roller coaster.

 

I hope you can join us in the chat it has been a help for me. Being on this roller coaster ride is exsosting.

 

Hi Jen, do you recommend any other chats? Or are these threads the best way to communicate and get help?

 

Try finding a counselor to talk to or a therapist

 

So sorry to hear of your double loss. This process of grieving takes time. You are very young and you have lost two people you loved and that is a big piece of your heart torn out. Give yourself time to heal. Your feelings are not unusual at all. If you can hang in there, it will get better with time. Don't lose hope. Trust in God.