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I'm at a loss. My husband died in a car accident at 34 years old

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Rubytusdae, Apr 14, 2021.

  1. Rubytusdae

    Rubytusdae New Member

    I knew it as soon as the two state troopers walked into my driveway. My husband was late in getting home from work but I had chalked it up to traffic. Until I saw them pull in front of my house. I thought I'd get a "He's in the hospital" or something. But no. I am sorry ma'am your husband was pronounced dead at the scene. This happened 3/8/2021. We have 3 kids - 10,4, and 2. :'( my heart is a train wreck of emotions and it's already been a month. I'm slowly moving day to day but it is so difficult. My whole being aches. I've been with him since I was 17. We made our world together and came from nothing. I only know one other person, and I don't know her well at all, who has a similar situation. People keep likening it to losing a child or a parent in old age. I know those hold their own types of grief. But I lost my future, my history, my soul mate. We had gone through so much together. I just don't know how I'll move on from this.
  2. Songman

    Songman Well-Known Member

    Oh my dear God, my heart weeps for you. Your void is so fresh and raw that there are no words that can help right now. You did make the right choice by reaching out to the fellow grievers who visit this forum. Keep reaching out and talk about your, and your soulmate's life together. Share your story, It will help you, and in sharing your grief , you will be taking the first steps toward your own healing. The people here understand and know what you are going through. We have all walked down this path. We are all reading different chapters of the same book.
    "The Book of Existence".
    God Bless you, and grant you peace.

    Rubytusdae and @APPY like this.
  3. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. Your story brought tears. So young so much life to live. Im on this site because I lost my husband suddenly to a massive heart attack, he was healthy with no health issues. Doctors told me if he went to a cardiologist the day before they wouldn’t have seen anything. I know someone who lost her 32 yr old husband in a tragic vehicle accident. I know how it feels having the troopers at your door. This happened 3 yrs ago, she still doesn’t want anyone to knock on her door, it sends her into a panic attack. Everything you mention everything you’re feeling is normal. Your body and mind are in shock. I hope you have family and friends offering support, try to accept any help offered. Someone having a cup of coffee with you is tremendous help. Just having someone to talk with, share your feelings and share memories. This is a very long journey that none of us want to be on. It’s a bumpy road to say the least. Try to get outside every day and breath in fresh air. It won’t feel like it does anything but it is helpful. My son made me promise to get fresh air every day, and he was right. It helps. Hold your children close, visit this site often, read and share stories it’s very helpful. Every one on this site understands your pain where people in our lives just don’t, they can’t unless they’ve had such a loss. It is different losing a spouse then a parent or friend etc, that loss is traumatic also but it’s different.
    Your husband helped make you the person you are today, he’s a part of you and will always be with you.
    God Bless, sending you hugs!
    Rubytusdae and @APPY like this.
  4. Rubytusdae

    Rubytusdae New Member

    Thank you and I am so, so sorry for your loss. Losing a spouse is like losing a part of my soul. It's just awful
  5. Rubytusdae

    Rubytusdae New Member

    Thank you Bill. I'll check that book out. I've read a few different things. Some I toss aside annoyed. Some feel so empty and pointless. Life is so not the same.
  6. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Thank you and yes it is like losing a part of our soul. A part of us is missing. Life seems to stand still and yet rush by. Nothing in life prepares us for this pain that’s indescribable. Things do eventually get better a little at a time. But it takes time. One day one moment at a time. Lean on family and friends and this site.
    Rubytusdae and LinF like this.