I am finding grief a bit unbearable at the moment. This is the first major loss I've suffered. My parents are utterly destroyed and I feel like I've lost them too. My brother died very suddenly but had been battling addiction for years and also mental health issues. He had made a few suicide attempts over the years and been in and out of treatment. Much much more to the story, and the last 6 years have been full of trauma. I feel broken and devastated.