I lost my wife of 15 years 3 1/2 months ago suddently to cardiac issues

I unfortunately lost my wife of 15 years - 3 1/2 months ago suddenly to cardiac issues which she did not recover from. She was 46 years old. I am almost 40. This has been the toughest part of my life thus far and has even been having anxiety issues and anxiety attacks. Recently been put on some medicine to help with them and it's been helping. However, It's still not been easy. I'm here and interested in seeing if being in discussions like this is helpful. I hope it is.

Andy

 

My loss from 8 weeks ago is a similar health situation where they were unable to resuscitate him. He was 47 and we have been married 25 years. He is my 1 true love, we have 2 sons but they are young adults and live out of state. I relate to the anxiety, it especially hits me each night before I try to sleep and each morning when I wake up without him. I’m dwelling a lot on the loss of my future with him, we had so many hopes and dreams in addition to our sons wedding this summer. At some point in time I hope the dwelling shifts to being grateful for the time we had and good memories we made but I have no idea how long that takes. Do you journal? I never did until recently, it helps me process. I also never read much but have started and a few books including the Bible have helped. Only God knows why this happened & how much he meant to me. I trust he will help me find purpose & joy again one day.

 

Jewelz,

I am truly sorry for your loss and that you have had to go through this as well. I can't imagine even begin to imagine what this is like if I had kids also. I do not journal. Other than I do write down things a lot more just to remember because there is so much more to do. I have downloaded some books to read and hope that helps too. It helps me also that having Trust and Faith in God that he will get me through. talk soon.

 

The pain is unbearable, I understand broken heart syndrome. It’s tough enough to lose someone you love let alone suddenly & seemingly preventable, then watching helplessly. Our 7 yr old dog died 6 weeks later from aggressive cancerous tumors. We knew we were going to lose her but had no idea about my husband. Each of their deaths compounds the other, my life has been turned upside down. It’s no longer as I know it, no longer comfortable, no longer productive, no longer joyous. I’ve never lost anyone close to me that wasn’t in their 90’s, grief is debilitating - no way to escape the pain. I know my husband is in heaven, I’ll see him again & he is okay -but I’m not!

 

Jewelz, First of all I'm sorry for my delay in replying to this. I am an avid Cyclist and I ride bike a lot for exercise and help with peace of mind. However, I was in a serious bike wreck this past Saturday that immobilized me for a couple of days. Luckily nothing broken but very sore. But I think partially my grief was to blame for my lack of focus on the bike. anyways..

I can definitely relate to this in a certain way. My wife and I had to send our 10 year old Boxer Sadie over the rainbow bridge 3 months before my wife passed away. It was very hard..... and it weighed heavy on me for a long time and still does. On top of that we had to have our American bulldog Lucy died from a tumor in her stomach 2 years before that. Luckily I still have my wonderful 1 year old Boxer Josie who helps but also makes me sad as I feel sorry for her also.

I've been looking into Grief Counseling myself and possibly joining a grief support group. I have some books I need to read too that I purchased. I just haven't done so yet. Internally I think I'm just scared.

As hard and tough as this is and i'm sure you've heard this from others as I think all of us who have on through grief has. Our loved ones who have passed would want us to be happy and move on with life. Knowing that they are up in heaven and are Guardian Angels looking after us. I have to remind myself this a lot. sometimes it is too strong and just have to get past the tears first. I want to so bad get past all of this as best I can. By getting past this I mean I want to be able to live life with of course wonderful memories of my wife but also with me having my own life as a better person from all of this. I have to trust in God that he will help get me through this seemingly hell that I've been put through.

 

Lost my husband 4 years ago from heart attack, never recovered. I feel your pain

 

Andy, no worries -there’s no expectations for timely replies or replies at all. Some days we are all just doing our best to get out of bed. I do hope you have a full recovery from your accident, I definitely relate to the lack of focus. I went back to work this week and my brain is not having it. I thought it would be productive and a welcome distraction encouraged by everyone I talked to but I’m not even functioning @50%.

Dragonfly very sorry for your loss, how are you recovering? Have you gotten to a place where you no longer dwell heavily on hopes & dreams you once had but are grateful for the time you did have with your husband? I’m told this happens at some point in time. What motivates you every day?

I know life is precious and our loved ones want us to be happy but I’m desperately yearning for my best friend of a quarter century. I’m mostly in a state of unsettling. When I get panicky I have key scriptures memorized that I will say over and over again until the anxiety subsides.