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I lost my dad on Thursday 26th of November

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Adavmoi, Nov 30, 2020.

  1. Adavmoi

    Adavmoi New Member

    My name is Ada and I lost my dad recently, I am really conflicted about how i feel I have a lot of guilt about how I wasn't patient with him and how I could have been a better daughter but at the same time I know he was proud of me and he loved me and my siblings .
     
  2. JMD

    JMD Well-Known Member

    Lost my dad on February 24th of this year. Same thing happened - I was overwhelmed by everything I did that I thought let him down - although I know he was proud of me and loved me and my siblings. Try to focus on the positive times you shared. You are human, none of us are perfect. Relationships with family can be stressful and sometimes we don’t act in ways that we are proud of. When I really started thinking about my relationship with my dad, there was much more positive in both directions than negative. Be kind to yourself. Praying for you to have peace.
     
    Adavmoi likes this.
  3. Adavmoi

    Adavmoi New Member

    Thank you so much JMD, I really appreciate your kind words especially this "Relationships with family can be stressful and sometimes we don’t act in ways that we are proud of"
    • I can most definitely relate to that, I am just trying to remember the positive memories I have of him and am trying to adjust to not seeing him everyday and how the life of myself and family members will change because of this.
     
    JMD likes this.
  4. JMD

    JMD Well-Known Member

    One day at a time. This grief journey is really hard.
     
  5. Cwinter93

    Cwinter93 New Member

    Hey you ,

    I lost my dad on the Jan 31st , 2021 and it was sudden. I wasn't patient with him either and he stopped speaking to me 10 days prior to his passing but he was growing sick and wasn't able to tell me or chose not to and a social worker called me and told me he had passed.. I am every day full of guilt and the what ifs..
    I know he is proud of me as your dad is so proud of you too. Just know you are strong and getting thru this in your own time is what is needed. Im not sure how to move forward but I know how your feeling you are not alone and I am so glad to have found this website tonight I needed it . I needed to find people that understand and are grieving as well.....

    Stay safe and keep your head up
    CW
     
    JMD likes this.
  6. siliang

    siliang New Member

    I lost my father to a heart attack on 26 April. I was still sleeping on the morning of 27, when i was waked up by a call from my mom.
    I still can not blieve it. I read all the chat history with him. The jokes he made, the news he shared with me. And every time before i came back home, he will always tell me not to get a taxi, he will be there to pick me.
    I live in another country with him. I couldn't even go back to the funeral. I can't breathe with the thought that when i come back home he will not be there anymore.

    There won't be anyone in this world can love me more than he does.
     
    JMD likes this.
  7. JMD

    JMD Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for your sudden loss. I think it will be hard for you to believe for a while, especially because you were far away. It sounds like you have some very warm memories of him, you will cherish those forever and it will help to pull you through. My dad was the same way, he looked out for me no matter how old I got, no matter what I needed. He would always pick me up too - that’s what good dads do. Take care of yourself in these next days and weeks. You are right, your grief journey is unpredictable and will be hard, very hard. Make sure you rest, eat healthy, drink water and surround yourself with supportive people. That’s important. There are many on this site that understand your pain so reach out when you need to - it will help. I will say a prayer for you, your dad and your family.
     
    siliang likes this.
  8. siliang

    siliang New Member

    Thank you JMD. Your warm and calmly comments have relieved some of my sorrows.
    I am sorry for your loss too. My tears went down at your words "he looked out for me no matter how old I got, no matter what I needed". We both have
    owned such love, it is so pain to be taken away.
     
    JMD likes this.