I lost my best friend and then my dad 2 months later

Last april my best friend who was like a sister to me passed away.Well right after this happened my dad who had been battling cancer for two years was put on hospice and I lost him two months later in June.I just can't seem to accept the fact that there never coming back and I'm always so dam sad!!And I'm just tired of feeling so bad all the time. I already suffer from depression/anxiety and this has thrown me into a full on episode that's never ending it feels like. I feel like I've been grieving for almost three years,it always felt like I was grieving my dad before he was even gone Because in the back of my head I knew the cancer would take him. I was terrified of it from the time he got his diagnosis,What I did NOT know was that my best friend in the whole wide world wouldn't be here by my side when he left me. I don't have very many friends and I am just looking for someone who can relate.I have people who love me and I know I can talk to them but no one seems to really understand wtf this feels like and I'm so sick of hearing "things will get better" "just stay positive" I know I have a hole in my heart that will probably never heal, I know this is just a part of life but let me just say I wouldn't wish this type of emotional hell on anyone.