I don’t know what to do

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Heather Chadwick, Jan 27, 2019.

  1. My bf is dying of brain cancer. It’s very sudden and I’m so lost. My whole world us gone and I’ve never felt so alone. I can bareoy eat, I can’t really sleep and I’m going through hell. I’m broken and the one person who can make things okay is dying on me. I need help.
     
  2. Washijuwia

    Washijuwia Member

    I am so sorry. There is so much to grieve during this stage of losing someone. I just lost my significant other to pancreatic cancer. It was so hard, and still is.
     
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  4. New to this board. I know it’s gonna get worse before it gets better. This is the guy I want to still be with for the rest of my life and I don’t get to have that.
     
  5. Terrani Burke

    Terrani Burke New Member

    I just lost my boyfriend 3 weeks ago in a car accident. It’s very hard; be patient with yourself and your process. Mostly; take care of yourself. I wasn’t eating; showering; and didn’t notice- self care paramount. It will be hard.
     
  6. Absolutely- just got out of the shower actually. I’m all over the place. I both know what I need to do for myself and have done a little bit of it and I also only want to focus on my boyfriend.
     
  7. Joanna!

    Joanna! Member

    Heather, I am so sorry you have so much on your plate right now. Just cherish every minute you have with him. My husband has been gone almost six months now. I feel like I'm starting to forget his voice, and I don't have a recording of it. I had a build a bear recording of it and it stopped working. I sent it to there "hospital" to try to recover it. It may sound morbid, but record his voice for you to have in the future. Please take care of yourself. My grief is accompanied by an overwhelming fatigue. And, sometimes it's all I can do to take a shower. I just miss him so much, and it's like I don't know how to be without him.
     
  8. Thank you. I lost my boyfriend a week ago yesterday. I have little snippets of his voice and it’s not enough. Hopefully I can get more. I miss everything. All I want to do is connect to him. I feel his presence a lot. I revolved my life around him and it’s so hard now.
     
  9. Joanna!

    Joanna! Member

    I'm so sorry he's gone. I wish I had some tips for you, but I don't. It's just a very hard thing. I felt like my husband was the center of my world and now I'm just adrift. I wish I could say I feel his presence, but he feels so far away from me. I'm glad you have that.
     
  10. I don’t want to lose that presence. All I want to do is be connected to him. This is absolutely the hardest, most painful thing I’ll ever go through in my life. Period. I don’t want to stop revolving my life around him. It all happened so quick. I just want this to be a nightmare and I’d give anything to make it that way.
     
  11. Laurie S.

    Laurie S. New Member

    I lost a child to brain cancer 10 years ago and my husband passed away in January. I am lost and un-needed, and would like to be of support to you. Most people say the empty words they think you want to hear, but I just want to listen. I am not going to say a bunch of meaningless things, but the ONE THING that has brought me comfort after I lost my son was knowing that he never experienced pain. He was sick and miserable, don't get me wrong, but he never experienced the pain many people suffer with cancer. There are no words to describe what it is like to watch someone you love fade away in front of you, but you are never alone. Please take care of yourself - you can't change what is happening but you can be a champion for your friend.
     
  12. Aljelo

    Aljelo Member

    I know you are powerless to change what is happening right now. All you can do is make the most of the time you have left. Make sure you let him talk about his feelings, his fears and anger, and just listen. You can come here to these groups to talk about what you're going through, but he can't. My stepson died of brain cancer and I know he had moments where he didn't know what was going on and lashed out. Talk with the doctors about what to expect so you're not totally blindsided. But most of all, don't miss the chance to tell him how much he means to you and help him find some peace, if you can.