I cannot get over the death of my MOM

Hi, I'm new here. My best friend of 30 years thought this would be a good place for me. My story... This is really hard and my mind at this moment trying to put into words is spinning. I'm the youngest daughter of 3 girls and the age Gap between me and my sisters are many years so basically when they got older and moved out I was kinda an only child. Yes, I was very loved, doted on etc. So I was very very close to my parents. My parents were married 53 years when she passed so I learned and saw what true love was from my parents. Ok, in June of 2015 after a long battle with COPD my mom's health was declining quickly. Basically the many dr's tried everything but it got to the point of there was nothing left to help. They really sent her home and said she was to weak and wouldn't survive surgery to remove the cancer in her lungs...so inoperable and keep her as pain free as possible was the decision. She was given at that time possibly 6 months to live. Having the close family I have just spent time with her. Well, my adult son decided he wasn't ready to accept that yet and being a naturalist and desperate he and friends, one friend especially, owns a farm and for several years of research and fighting with the government started his business of marijuana plants etc. for the purpose to help people going through illnesses. My mom had never smoked marijuana in fact never had a drop of alcohol. Due to the condition of her lungs they improvised and would make the mixture and got suppository caplets, filled them and she started. Gradually the dosage increased and it helped her in so many ways from dandruff up to helping keep gout under control. It was amazing!! Dr's said 6 months well I truly know it didn't cure her but it gave her quality of the time she had left and I will shout to the world I know as a fact it gave us 2 more years with her!!! My mom passed peacefully at home with my dad, sister's and me just like she wanted. The date was July 21, 2017 @5:20 am. Since that day I have lost myself. This is why I'm here hoping to find peace. Thank you if you took the time to read my story...I have so much more to say but for now I'm going to wait till I think this is where I need to be

 

Peace be with you. I’m searching, too—have been for many, many years. Most days are OK now, but certain triggers really have hit me hard lately. The holidays are especially difficult.

 

That's fantastic that your mom got 2 years of quality of life, when they only gave her 6 months. My mom just passed away Saturday, March 21st. She ended up not getting much quality of life at the end. We could tell she was depressed and scared most days, but never told us she was, she protected us until the end. It still doesn't feel real that she is gone