I don’t know if I belong here but I honestly have been searching for something. People say therapy but I’ve tried about 5 therapists and all of them have said “sorry I don’t have any available slots, good luck!”. Family tries to be there but just says you’ll be okay, just keep going. How! Every breath feels like a battle, every day feels empty and alone. Every second feels like war with myself on whether I think I’ll make it through or break out in hysteric crying. My fiancé left me after 20 years. We recently bought a house 6 months ago, I had major surgery and we had 2 failed IVF attempts. After an argument over his online behavior he decided he no longer wanted this life and left in the middle of the night. I probably don’t belong here but the grief I feel is unbearable and I didn’t know where else to go.
I don't know if I can help, but I'll try. I have been married 5 times. 4 times ended in painful (at the time) divorces. Looking back, and knowing what I know now, I could have been a much better husband. I met The love of my life, Janet, in the early i990's when I was nearly 60 years old. We were blissfully married for 25 years. We did everything together. Janet died of brain cancer on October 18 2019 at 8:40 in the morning. I lived with her in her Hospice room for the last 3 months of her life. I was with her when she died. She was (and is) my everything. My divorces (although painful) were hard, but nothing prepared me for the devastation that took over my soul when I lost Janet. I recovered from my divorces. I am surviving the loss of Janet, because she is still a part of me. Your pain will subside. Keep reaching out. God Bless You, Bill
I am truly sorry for your loss ,this is hard stuff.Every breath is a battle and it is a war that is why I say to all we are warriors ,for some reasons we were chosen to walk through the fire. I lost my wife age 59 to cancer 2/2/20 and the battle in my heart and soul still rages. I want you to know you are not alone ,I hope you come back to this site for there are times when I may not look for 2-3 weeks but I come back because there is a connection with all who are unfortunately here ,none of us for sure thought we would and we all surely didn't want to be. I wanted to reach out for I see it's been a while since you have and let you know we care. So many people just can't understand the pain and sorrow and what truly a broken heart feels like.People stop calling ,don't come over without explanation and you start to think what have I done wrong .I am getting ready to go to Colorado to see my daughter and 3 grand kid for the 4th time since my wife passed ,it's so hard and bittersweet ,my wife lived for those grandkids.Grief is the price we pay for love. It's 14 months and I still can't believe what has happened. Be good to yourself and be strong and courageous ,take care God bless you.
