How do I live without my husband

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by LaurieLoo, Jun 13, 2019.

  1. Gazelle

    Gazelle Member

    This happens so many times,,these triggers. Set out only one coffe cup,,leave grocery store in cheese dept. Won't need that anymore!
     
    Medapa likes this.
  2. Gazelle

    Gazelle Member

    I was very fortunate to have my husband and he went very easilyHe was 89 but worked everyday. Worked Friday died sat, in front of his computer,It is like I am only half of myself and it has been 3 yrs.
     
  3. Marcia Carey

    Marcia Carey Active Member

    Hi Gazelle. I'm so very sorry for your loss. You just joined a community that is there for You.
     
  4. Marcia Carey

    Marcia Carey Active Member

    It's time goes my the pain is a little easier to tolerate. Early on you just take one day at a time and realize that you're not Alone.
     
  5. Marcia Carey

    Marcia Carey Active Member

    I'm still looking for my other half with brain.
     
  6. Gazelle

    Gazelle Member

    Hi, that is like me. I do pretty good in the week,but the weekends bring me to the reality I am alone!
     
  7. Gazelle

    Gazelle Member

    But I am having trouble with responding to one person. I will have to find someone to help me..It takes me back to resblish membership
     
  8. Hi Gazelle, my name is Rose,I'm so sorry for your loss. I too lost my husband in Dec. 2018, it's almost 8 months now, to some it may seem like a long time has passed but for me time has stood still and it feels like i'm reliving that day over and over everyday, I miss him more and more as each day goes by and it still doesn't seem real to me and I'm hoping it's just a nightmare that I will wake up from soon, but I still have to function and take care of myself and others that depend on me, so everyday is a struggle to get past, I sometimes wonder where I get the strength to go on but I do, I have a family that needs me and elderly parents that depend on me, but I found this site and others that are struggling with their losses so you know that you and I are not alone. You can share what you are going through, it helps to hear from others that are suffering through this. I hope I can help, or we can help each other.
     
  9. Medapa

    Medapa Member


    I lost my husband suddenly 3month ago due to a heart attack. He was only 41 he was healthy and active. We were traveling and he dropped and never opend his eyes again. I've had a lot of support from friends and family. Yet mostly I'm alone at home surrounded by our things our life we built and alone in my head trying grasp what has happened. I feel like everything is different, even the way I breathe...He was my world. He was funny and kind and strong and I dont know how to navigate this world without him in it.
     
  10. Gazelle

    Gazelle Member

    Hi Rosario, thanks for writing. It seems there are many of. Us trying to find someone who understands our pain and the loneliness we feel so deeply. Others do not want to hear about our loss..it does not relate to them. This is the first time in my life that I have experienced GRIEF.Thanks for sharing
     
    Newenglander likes this.
  11. Gazelle

    Gazelle Member

    Hope u got my reply! Gazelle
     
  12. Gazelle

    Gazelle Member

    Oh now I see you have to hit post reply first in order to write???
     
  13. Gazelle

    Gazelle Member

    Your situation is very tragic since he was so young..we wonder who we are.We have lost ourselves as half us is gone. It hurts so bad and triggers make us so weak and sad. I am sorry you are having to get this lousy situation!!
     
    Newenglander likes this.
  14. yes, gazelle, i see your reply. It's comforting to know there are others that feel your pain because we need to share our grief. I felt so alone and felt like no one really knew what I was feeling or thinking, you feel like you're the only one in this world that feels the way you do, but you're not and I'm slowly starting to feel better, the sadness and loneliness will never go away. I pray for the best for you and we are here to listen.
     
    Newenglander likes this.
  15. Sstvsusan

    Sstvsusan New Member

    It has been eleven weeks. We had just moved to my dream city, Berkeley, CA, my husband took a transfer. He loved his new job, our new apartment even his commute. But on his 4th day of work, May 9, 2019, he texted me from his job's onsite clinic that he was feeling sick at 1 pm, they took him into the second hospital's OR at 5 pm, and 10 hours later, after performing four different heart surgeries, 3:15 am in the morning, the surgeon told my daughter and I, "I have horrible news. The worst news. We are not going to be able to help him." It was a unreal, surreal event, horrific event. With my daughter and I driving to one hospital and than to another, trying to find him in a strange city to us, SF... never seeing him alive again. I have been "strong" they all say. We had a Celebration of Life where there were between 150 to 200 people attending in Kansas City in my oldest son's backyard two weeks ago. I remember thinking I will never see 90 percent of these people again. I have signed up for an art class... and I invited a nice person from class to lunch at my way too big apartment. I really seem to suck at meeting new people. My daughter has talked me into fostering some kittens... I now spend all my time cleaning up after them. But that is better than spending all of my time filling out paperwork, talking to my financial planner and attorneys. I should go to all of the wonderful events that this area offers... but I just cannot smile. The good news is that no one knows me here so I can walk outside and no one owns my loss unless I tell them. I think I just need to cry... I have not been able to cry.
     
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  16. Kriss

    Kriss Active Member

    Hi gazelle my husband of 30 yrs died quickly with a massive heart attack he was 52. Seen him at 6 am and by 11 he was gone. I miss him so much. Not a day goes by that I don’t cry. Walk around my house like a zombie. Don’t know how to go forward. This sight has been real helpful though. I feel like a burden to my kids and family cuz I’m just there. Not going forward or moving on. I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do anymore
     
  17. Missing

    Missing New Member

    Hello - I'm new here too. Like it seems almost everyone here, my husband died suddenly of a heart attack. I'm trying to put one foot in front of the other, but sometimes, like today, I find myself tripping and falling. It really is a lonely, solitary journey. I don't wish this on anyone, but at times it would be so helpful if I had a friend going through this with me. As you've all said, no one understands. I lost my husband less than six months ago. Am I supposed to be over it by now? I sense that a few people in my life feel a little that way. Some wounds just aren't meant to heal. We have to be okay with that. I won't move on from grief; I'll bring it forward with me. And I'm okay with that. But I don't like this new life. It's all wrong. There's no purpose, no joy. No one to share the little things with, no one to laugh with, to have conversations with. He was the only person in my life who wasn't "once removed." Your friends are all once removed; your spouse isn't. He wasn't perfect, but he was perfect for me.

    Gazelle, do you want to talk here about your husband?
     
    Newenglander likes this.
  18. Missing

    Missing New Member

    Sstvsusan, 11 weeks seems like too little time to be fostering kittens and going out on the town. Or maybe it's just me. At 11 weeks, I was still filling out paperwork, calling credit card companies, calling to find out whom to call, and so on. I could barely take care of myself, let alone a litter of kittens. But your daughter knows you better than I do. I can't be of much help to you - it's been 5 1/2 months for me, and I'm still at Square One. I've looked up the grieving process, and have been through denial/disbelief and am still in guilt. Sometimes it hits me so hard, I feel as if he just died yesterday. So many what if's and if only I'd... Are you in that stage yet?
     
  19. Sanpat

    Sanpat New Member

    I am new to this site and will probably take me some time to figure out how to comment. I can relate to the sudden loss of a spouse. My husband died suddenly almost 17 months ago. It still feels unreal and I keep hoping he will walk through the door any minute. He was less than a year from retirement. I still work but find I feel so empty all the time. Nothing is the same without him. The first year I was numb and in shock. Now I have trouble even thinking about the future or making any plans without him here. It's like I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know if anyone else has experienced these feelings as well.
     
  20. TLD

    TLD Member

    I am totally experiencing what you are feeling. I lost my future husband just over two weeks ago. I keep waiting to hear his voice. To wake up in the morning and realize it was all a bad dream. It still hurts to breathe and life without him just doesnt make sense anymore. I don't understand how to or thing i will ever get over this.