How do I live without my husband

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by LaurieLoo, Jun 13, 2019.

  1. LaurieLoo

    LaurieLoo Member

    I just lost my sweetie of over 20+ years. He was only 54 when he has a Massive Heart Attack... I feel so empty and noone seems to understand my loss. I keep being asked is there anything they can do for me...but how do I answer that when I don't know what I want anymore.....
     
    LindaH and blkcrwf1 like this.
  2. NM Hiker

    NM Hiker New Member

    Just lost my husband the same way. Everyone asks me the same thing and I can’t answer either. Sometimes I’ll give someone a minor errand to do, but most things that need to be done are things I have to do myself.

    I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
     
  3. LaurieLoo

    LaurieLoo Member

    Thanks for the response... I'm sorry for your loss as well. How old was your husband??
     
  4. NM Hiker

    NM Hiker New Member

    51
     
  5. June Johnson

    June Johnson New Member

    My husband was 50 when he suddenly passed in Dec. He died just before our 20th anniversary.
     
  6. LaurieLoo

    LaurieLoo Member

    I'm sorry to hear about your husband too. How have you coped?? I find that I'm ok during parts of the day and fall apart other times.
     
  7. LaurieLoo

    LaurieLoo Member

    It is real hard to understand why good people die so young. My husband was the most generous, sweet man I have ever met and I find right now... I'm on empty. Not sure where to go and what to do.... I lost him 14 days before my birthday which is this Monday (Jone 17) and I don't want to even celebrate anything.... He use to buy me flowers and we would walk on the beach for hours...on my special day... Now What???
     
  8. NM Hiker

    NM Hiker New Member

    I hope you got through your birthday okay. We had to get through our first Father’s Day without my husband. It was strange. Many more difficult milestones ahead.
     
  9. LaurieLoo

    LaurieLoo Member

    Hi There NH Hiker,

    My birthday was terrible... I went to his grave and my mother literally had to grab me off the ground because I wanted to stay there. My brother and sister-in-law sent me flowers (because Andy always got me flowers on my birthday) and they didn't want me to go without. But it was bad. I can only imagine how Father's Day was for you and your children. I also sorry you have to go through the pain as well. My next one is in September as it would have been our 18th wedding anniversary. Boy I am not sure what I'm going to do...
     
  10. I'm so sorry for everyone's loss. I too lost my husband in December 2018, he died of a heart attack suddenly, he had just turned 50 in September. Christmas was the first holiday spent without him and our 30th anniversary was a month later, but the hardest of all was this past fathers day because it was the worst for my children. I hate holidays and don't want to celebrate any of them but for the sake of everyone else, I have to get through them and pretend I'm ok and hope that it gets easier. I wish I could always talk about him and cry and vent my anger and frustration and lock myself in my room and not deal with the outside world but I can't, to many people depend on me and I have to be ok.. I'm trying, and sometimes I feel like it's getting easier and then there are days where I feel like I'm going backwards. It's 1 step forward and 2 steps back, but I'm still taking those forward steps.
     
    LindaH likes this.
  11. Emma Sam

    Emma Sam Member

    I am so sorry for your loss my husband died in February 2019. He had pneumonia and also got fungus in his lungs. He had a low immune system which made matters worse. It only took 3 weeks in the hospital and he passed. We were married 22 years and I don’t know what to do with myself.
     
    Marcia Carey likes this.
  12. Crystal Singley

    Crystal Singley New Member

    I
    completely know what your feeling. My husband died of sudden cardiac arrest at work. No one knows why. He was healthy and he was only 45. He passed away 3 months ago
     
    Marcia Carey likes this.
  13. blkcrwf1

    blkcrwf1 Member

    I as well lost my heart he was my best friend my everything. He too was 55. No one does understands. I feel so alone in a room full of people. The more time that passes the worse it gets. It has only been a couple months and people think I should be over it. I don't know how to exist without him. I understand what you are going through
     
    Marcia Carey likes this.
  14. Collection

    Collection Member

    Crystal my hubby was so very young as well; I often wonder oh know - why? why? why? .... I can't understand it ... I don't think I'll ever understand. He passed May 28th, literally 2 days before my birthday. Every morning when I 1st open my eyes, the very 1st though that goes across my mind is "He's really gone - I can't believe he's really gone"; then I just peel myself out of bed & do my best to take care of our kids each day.
     
    Marcia Carey likes this.
  15. blkcrwf1

    blkcrwf1 Member

    Shock does it ever leave, my husband died in March and I still wake up shocked everyday that he is not next to me. Like I expect him too be there, but only my heart knows different. I think of him always everyday my heart is broken
     
    Marcia Carey likes this.
  16. Kriss

    Kriss Active Member

    I can relate my wonderful hubby passed away at 52 with a sudden heart attack also. We just celebrated our 30 anniversary. I sit here alone with nobody. I know what you mean. I don’t know how to help myself either when people ask what they can do. I basically sit here on my computer and the tv al day.
     
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  17. Emma Sam

    Emma Sam Member

    The shock will start fading some but it still there for me. I'm driving and it just hits me that he's not here anymore. I also wake up a lot and look for him next to me. I work in the Mental health field and they tell me its a grieving process and it will take time. They are all normal reactions.
     
  18. Marcia Carey

    Marcia Carey Active Member

    sorry for everyone's loss.l do believe that time is a slow healer but it will work if you can just get through one day at a time. Try to do something for yourself everyday. There is no set length of time for the grieving process but it will always be a process with it being more tolerable as time goes buy. I have been 13 months. It is easier but still there. You can not erase 55 years of being together as one.
     
    HeatherDiane and blkcrwf1 like this.
  19. blkcrwf1

    blkcrwf1 Member

    I was going to organize our closet however as soon as I opened it I was reminded of Johnny and how he loved his shoes because I bought them for him and he will never wear them again or his clothing. Needless to sayI shut the closet and walked away crying for what will never be
     
  20. Gazelle

    Gazelle Member

    I am brand new and trying to figure ouut how to start conversation about loss of husband my name is Gazelle,,
     
    Rosaria Cuthill likes this.