I'm on month 4 since Jack died. We've lived in this house for 10 years. Everything is happening to me with this house that has never happened. Tree limbs down from wind, water leaks, garage door remote not working, my kitty is sick, computer printer down, his garden died and more. I feel like the devil has got a hold on me and everything is sucked out of me mentally. Financially, I've lost my social security and am trying to live on his. Expenses are the same, except food is less. He loved to eat. Anyway, I'm just venting here because I've lost faith in prayer. If my kitty's test comes out positive I will loss him. He's why I get up in the morning. I've been a christian my whole life. Am I being tested? If so, I don't like it. Going through grief is enough without earthy things stressing you out more. I really just want to run away from it all. Thanks for reading from one who doesn't pray anymore.