Hi, I am new to this site. I lost my partner over a year ago to what me and his family now believe was covid-19. I was present for his last moments and the one who called 911 when he was losing his ability to breath. We talked of marriage, children, future careers and I planned this. When he passed away I was devastated. Some days numb some days straight self destructive. Self destructive to the point where I moved back to where I grew up in order to heal. Over the past year I reconnected to a friend i have known for almost 20 years, never romantic at all. I recently found myself attracted to him and him attracted to me and we started seeing eachother. He is well aware of my past relationship and grief yet supports me and does not pressure. I feel for him in ways I never expected but constantly am at odds with the love I still have for my partner who has passed. I feel like a horrible person. Idk what to do.