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Grief changes you forever

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Jeffsjohnson, Feb 14, 2021.

  1. Jeffsjohnson

    Jeffsjohnson Member

    When I was in the throws of grief I had two completely opposite thoughts: I wanted it to end and I never wanted it to end. I wanted the pain to subside, but I never wanted to get farther away from my most cherished wife.

    I've had 8 months now to get some perspective and I've come to think of this as a happy scar with a wonderful story behind it. The scar is deep and always there. I'm changed forever. And I certainly don't want that scar to go away. It has meaning, love, a story, another life that will always be a part of me. I want people to ask about it (her), ask the story behind it, and let me retell (in probably too much detain) how it was the best experience of my life - one that will never be replaced.

    I reached a point about a month ago where her voice kept speaking to me over and over. She was telling me to get up off my ass, start eating better, make friends, join a tennis league, and maybe even go on an occasional friendly date.

    There is certainly no timetable for grief, or even a defined tipping point where you go from seeing nothing but loss to seeing more opportunities. She would say, "get a life, but never forget me." I hear you Linny. I'm moving forward with you as my best and most cherished scar.
  2. Songman

    Songman Well-Known Member

    Lovely sentiments.
    LivingWithGrace likes this.
  3. Dee Kay

    Dee Kay Active Member

    Really lovely, so true what you say
  4. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    So wonderfully stated. And so true on all accounts.