Grandpa, my true BFF

Discussion in 'Life After Caregiving' started by candicorn, Jul 10, 2020.

  1. candicorn

    candicorn New Member

    I lost my grandpa a little over 2 years ago. He was my best friend, my hero, he was everything to me. I had taken care of him since I was 17, chose my career path because of his illness so I could take care of him better. Now that he is gone and it has been time, I realize that I never processed it, that I never learned how to cope with the grief. I realize that I never learned how to handle the sudden outbursts of tears. With not getting help with my grief, I ended up ruining a 3 year relationship and losing my new best friend.
     
  2. Sheila512

    Sheila512 Well-Known Member

    Dear Candicorn, ( My favorite)
    Why are you beating yourself up? Have you not hurt enough? Why blame yourself for not processing your grief,.none of us have a handbook...We crawl our way and hope against everything that the pain will ease up. So , now you know you need help to face your grief. It is NEVER too late. I read a lot, I use this forum, I talk to people who are genuinely interested and I never, ever forget my loss. I talk about him all the time. He is still part of me and I hold onto all that I can. For people who are annoyed by this, so what? It is what I need to do to continue living at all. Forgive yourself long enough to actually start taking the steps to get help. There are grief support groups all over the place..just google one in your area. I wish you comfort and peace in your journey

    Sheila
     
    RLC likes this.
  3. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    First, let me say how much I love your picture. What a wonderful relationship you and your grandpa had. I think you and your grandpa were a good team.
    I’m sure you’re grandpa would want you to be ok. All the wonderful times and memories you shared will always be with you. He helped mold you into the person you are today. He’s in your heart and soul. You don’t need to hold back any emotions, it’s all a part of grieving, and it’s helpful. You might still be grieving the loss of of such an important person in your life. You might need help, but that’s for you to decide and to take the steps you need.
    This site is very helpful, come here often. Read and share stories
    Keep moving forward there are better days ahead.
    ❤️
     
  4. candicorn

    candicorn New Member

    Thank you. My grandpa and I always smiled and laughed like it shows in the picture. I know that I will have grief every day because he is no longer here. I am wanting to learn methods and techniques to cope with it. I don't want it to effect me in the way it has. I look at it like a puzzle. When he passed, my puzzle shattered. I have been avoiding putting it back together and adding the new pieces that came along with his passing. I am now on the journey of getting my puzzle complete and being me again.
     
  5. candicorn

    candicorn New Member

    I blame myself because at the time I was a respiratory therapist. I knew the signs of a stroke, had the training for strokes, and yet I didn't see it in my grandpa. When I finally realized, it was too late, the damage had been done. So not only did I feel like I failed him, I felt like I failed at my job.
     
  6. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    What a wonderful relationship you had. Try not to blame yourself. Sometimes love is blind. I’m sure he doesn’t blame you for anything. He’s thrilled you were such an important part of his life.
    He’s probably watching over you and thanking you for all the love, care and good times. And wants you to have a wonderful life.
    Working On completing that puzzle will be a journey but you’ve recognized you need to work on it. That’s a great place to start.