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Gone too soon!!!

Discussion in 'Suicide Loss' started by Forever young, Nov 4, 2020.

  1. Forever young

    Forever young New Member

    I lost my beloved 21-year-old son in January 2020. My son committed suicide at a gun range. I never saw this coming. He had never been diagnosed with depression or mental health. Now that I look back after reading different material on mental health the signs were there. I am heartbroken and stricken with guilt every day as to why didn’t I see this coming? Was my love not enough to keep him happy? He was so handsome and his smile would light up the room. He was soo kind and had a big heart. He left a text saying he wanted to go to the Kingdom of God to be happy. Meaning he was not happy here in this world. This tore me to pieces to know that my baby was so unhappy and his smile was a Mask. I have so many unanswered questions. Why? Why?
    My life is forever changed. Each morning I am reminded of my loss. The pain is unreal and never goes away. I am certain that if he knew the pain that he would leave his family he would’ve stopped. But am I wrong to think this way?
    So, I have found peace In prayer and leaning on God’s sovereignty. I call on the Holy Spirit to heal my broken heart. This has helped me breath on my journey of Grief.
     
  2. Ranger07

    Ranger07 New Member

     
  3. Ranger07

    Ranger07 New Member

    Hi, my name is Paul and I live in Australia. My heart goes out to you on the passing of your lovely son. A few months ago I lost my lovely wife of 25years. I'm ver heartbroken and taking it day by day, just hope I get through this. Lots of love!!
     
  4. Chris M 2000

    Chris M 2000 Well-Known Member

    I couldn't believe I was reading a note written by someone else. I had to look to make sure I hadn't written it myself. Our circumstances are so much alike that I could have written almost every word of your post myself. We lost our 28 year old son under such similar circumstances and he fit your words to a T. He too was so kind and had a big heart. I think that was part of the problem. He was so tender and sensitive that he could be hurt very easily. Our son had mental and emotional difficulties but he kept them hidden so well that I didn't realize how he felt until his last 2 years. Most likely was either bipolar or autistic or both. I desire for you to have strength on your journey of grief. Sending love, Chris
     
  5. Chris M 2000

    Chris M 2000 Well-Known Member

    Hi Forever Young, responding to the text you son left, when I told my chiropractor what had happened, he said, "Well, he knew where to go. You taught him." We tried to get him medical help here but that was to no avail. Called his Dr. three times the night before he died, and all she could say to my husband was, "He sure is manipulative, isn't he?" He knew that night he wasn't going to get any help down here on this earth. People who are a little different from the average person are seen as needing to conform to be like everyone else. But what about their special qualities. Maybe they can help us see life in a better way if we just give them the chance. I am sending my love to you. Please let us know how you are managing because we care. Chris