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Future Wife Lost

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Angie'sGirl, Jul 4, 2021.

  1. Angie'sGirl

    Angie'sGirl New Member

    I lost my future wife suddenly, and am angry, because it was a senseless death. I live in TN and she lived in Wales. Her family was never supportive of her and all those that truly cared about her lived in other countries. She knew something was wrong and didn't feel right. She was disabled and didn't drive, because in addition she had really bad anxiety. She asked her twin brother and her mom to take her to the hospital and instead of helping and taking her, for their own selfish reasons chose to bring her down again. Tell her it was because she was overweight. I asked and so did her BFF who lives in Florida for her to take an ambulance, but she told me she didn't want to because she was too scared and didn't want to go alone. The next day she was gone. Her BFF and I knew something was wrong and we did all we could to get a hold of some authority figure (police, social services) for a wellness check. Her family didn't care enough to even check on her. I finally got through to the cops after a whole day trying to get through. I spoke to the Welsh police directly, because they had no family contact information.

    What kind of mother and brother could just ignore the asking for help? She was only 37, and didn't approve of our relationship. Her daughter just turned 11, three days prior. She was my person. Truly that 1 in 8 billion and she was cruelly taken due to selfishness. She and I were planning to get married and move away. We were researching countries and planning visitations back and forth before finally being together. Neither one of us believed in rushing into things. We just got each other promise rings this year. Now, the love of my life is gone. I feel lost. Alone. Angry. She didn't have to die. If she had been taken to the hospital she had a very high chance of survival. I can't believe she's gone. I miss her so much. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be us against the world.
     
  2. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you knowing that your future wife knew she needed medical care, was scared, and without the support she needed, at the time she needed it the most. My husband died April 11, 2021, and the more time that goes by, the more I miss him. My heart feels like it's been torn in half... I'm alone, and very lonely. My world has been shattered. All of my dreams...goals..., plans..., gone. I once looked forward to the future, now I'm dreading it. I can't see past any of this all encompassing pain. Although everyone's grief journey is unique, there are some things that we have in common. We all know the unimaginable pain of losing someone who you love, still love, with all your heart.

    I know my husband would want me to be happy, to live my life to the fullest (although at this time it doesn't seem possible). I know your future wife would want the same for you. Please be gentle with yourself. Grieving is exhausting both mentally and physically. Please take care of yourself the best you can. Try to eat as healthy as possible, get enough rest. I'm glad you found us, but wish you didn't have to be here. Please continue to share your feelings and thoughts with us. While we might not have any answers, we care. We understand. We will be here to support you on your grief journey. Sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace.
     
  3. Angie'sGirl

    Angie'sGirl New Member

    Thank you. This month is now doubly hard. I have the anniversary of my mom's death (10 years) on the 27th of this month, and then in 2 days marks 1 month since I lost of my future wife. I thought I was lost when my mom passed away, and now it is ten fold. It isn't fair.
     
  4. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry... My husband passed away three days after my oldest son's birthday. Now my son's birthday, instead of just being a time to celebrate, is going to have a dark cloud hanging over it. Sending more hugs your way, and as always, wishing you peace, all of us peace.