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Forum Friends I need your input regarding sprinkling ashes.

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by cjpines, Jun 22, 2021.

  1. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    I'm at a quandary. My husband has been gone 7 months and due to the Covid I haven't been able to have a memorial until now. It will be in late August at our favorite lake. I planned to take some of his ashes and sprinkle over the lake and save the rest when I pass to be combined, but now I have second thoughts as follows:

    There will be 15 family members, spouses and kids for the celebration. Will this be too depressing for them to watch from the shore while I and two other family members float out and sprinkle his ashes?

    I'm feeling it's so personal that having this many people watching I will probably break down.

    Maybe it's because I'm not ready to part with some ashes? I'm not ready to let go of him yet.

    Maybe it should be done with just a few close family?

    Am I a coward and only thinking of myself? Should I bite the bullet and just do it for the celebration?

    I'm not thinking straight, I know that, as why I need some input from you who knows. Thank you, Karen
     
  2. I think you need to do what feels right for you. If you are not ready to let go yet, don't. I know the urn with the ashes is not my wife anymore but it still gives me comfort to have her in the room with me. It gives me a chance to talk to her and something physical to represent the beautiful spirit that she was and now is. I know my kids and I made all kinds of great plans to sprinkle some of my wife's ashes in several of her favorite spots but for now she is going to stay with me.

    I think you can celebrate his life without spreading ashes. The joy of remembering him and all the good things he gave you and the family. That is the true celebration. I think you will know when it is time to spread the ashes. That might be never and I think that is OK.
     
    Patti 61, Van Gogh and DEB321 like this.
  3. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    Thank you RecentlyLost